


Civilian Catastrophes

by peterparkerpanic



Series: crack texts [2]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: :), Bisexual Alya Césaire, Bisexual Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Crack, Demisexual Adrien Agreste, F/F, F/M, Group chat, Lesbian Chloé Bourgeois, M/M, MLB texts, Pansexual Adrien Agreste, Queer Nino Lahiffe, That Sequel Nobody Asked For, also you should probably read superhero shenanigans before this, because i cannot do angst, because this will not make sense, but as always, but part 2, enjoy!!!!, everyone ends up happy, group chat au, groupchat, groupchat au, groupchat fic, text au, texting au, texts, that fic nobody asked for, this has an overarching plot that will probably start in part 2 that may make y'all sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:01:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 17,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21630562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peterparkerpanic/pseuds/peterparkerpanic
Summary: Michelangelo: so like listenMichelangelo: I know this chat has been dead for a whileMichelangelo: but like I miss itMichelangelo: my username was the fucking best (!!)Michelangelo: and our aesthetic was so great on hereMichelangelo: so like even though we know each other’s civilian identitiesMichelangelo: can y’all come back ?? :))Foxy Lad: damn babe that was like poetryOr, the sequel that nobody asked for, involving the same group chat
Relationships: Adrien Agreste & Chloé Bourgeois & Alya Césaire & Marinette Dupain-Cheng & Nino Lahiffe, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe, Chloé Bourgeois/Kagami Tsurugi
Series: crack texts [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1559047
Comments: 192
Kudos: 798





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we back bitches!!!! i missed this fic :( so literally a month and a half later i have decided to sequel it except now they know each other's identities! yaaaay!

**08:16**

**Michelangelo:** what is UP my DUDES

 **Michelangelo:** so like listen

 **Michelangelo:** I know this chat has been dead for a while

 **Michelangelo:** but like I miss it

 **Michelangelo:** my username was the fucking best (!!)

 **Michelangelo:** and our aesthetic was so great on here

 **Michelangelo:** so like even though we know each other’s civilian identities

 **Michelangelo:** can y’all come back ?? : ))

 **Foxy Lad:** damn babe that was like poetry

 **Foxy Lad:** bit sloppy but

 **Michelangelo:** u rude bitch I thought couples were supposed to support each other

 **Foxy Lad:** :P

**Michelangelo has renamed themselves ‘Heartbroken’**

**Heartbroken:** I’m heartbroken

 **Chat Noir:** yea no shit

 **Foxy Lad:** AYYY ADRIEN

 **Foxy Lad:** where did u learn those MAD TYPING SKILLS

 **Chat Noir:** FROM UUUUU

 **Chat Noir:** AYYYY

 **Foxy Lad:** AYYYYY

 **Heartbroken:** idk whether to be proud or uncomfortable??? Haha help

 **Chat Noir:** now that im cool™ I can type however I want

 **Chat Noir:** I am Paris’ main defender

 **Chat Noir:** bold

 **Chat Noir:** valiant

 **Chat Noir:** strog

 **Foxy Lad:** strog

 **Heartbroken:** strog

 **Useless Lesbiam:** strog

 **Chat Noir:** Chloe!!!!!

 **Useless Lesbiam:** nu uh u hoe u just blatantly erased Ladybug

 **Foxy Lad:** talking of, where is Mari?

**Foxy Lad: @Ladybug**

**Useless Lesbiam:** ooo she is gonna murder u

 **Chat Noir:** No she won’t! She has Paris’ first line of defence on her side!

 **Heartbroken:** yea she’ll murder the both of u

 **Useless Lesbiam:** nino usually I find u so fucking annoying

 **Useless Lesbiam:** but I want u to know that right now, in this moment

 **Useless Lesbiam:** if u were in front of me

 **Useless Lesbiam:** if I had the choice, I would give u a high five over a slap

 **Useless Lesbiam:** one time offer

 **Heartbroken:** oh my god I am so #blessed

 **Foxy Lad:** eww

 **Useless Lesbiam:** never mind u just ruined it

 **Heartbroken:** didn’t come here to be attacked

 **Chat Noir:** well yeah, nobody goes anywhere to be attacked, they just are.

 **Foxy Lad:** was that a sick ass burn or Adrien not knowing his memes

 **Useless Lesbiam:** both?

 **Heartbroken:** both is good

 **Chat Noir:** I KNOW THAT ONE

 **Chat Noir:** I also know the keysmash

 **Chat Noir:** odfhejkdofije

 **Foxy Lad:** he’s… a work in progress

 **Chat Noir:** eoifhgfejodfiuhe

 **Useless Lesbiam:** lmao it’s ok as someome who was there I can testify he stopped mentally ageing at 4

 **Chat Noir:** rude

 **Chat Noir:** kwiuhfdnslsodifjds

 **Ladybug:** hey everyone

 **Ladybug:** what in the fuckery is this chat doing being active

 **Chat Noir:** morning mari!

 **Ladybug:** haha who has adrien’s phone

 **Chat Noir:** it’s me! Alya taught me how to type ‘like a normal person’

 **Foxy Lad:** YEA BOIIIIII

 **Chat Noir:** SDJHGBFEKDLOVIFHN

 **Ladybug:** gah capitals

 **Chat Noir:** oh yeah sorry forgot about that

 **Ladybug:** ok so seriously why are we chatting on here?? I now know I see y’all on a daily basis whether I want to or not

 **Heartbroken:** wow so u didn’t miss this legendary chat? Im upset

 **Foxy Lad:** I guess u could say… ur heartbroken

 **Heartbroken:** yeah no shit

 **Chat Noir:** ANYWAY

 **Chat Noir:** Mari have u even got up yet? School starts in 10.

 **Ladybug:** I’ve woken up with 5 minutes and still managed to make it. I’ll take my five minutes

 **Foxy Lad:** no u fucking won’t. im on my way

 **Useless Lesbiam:** me too for the food

 **Ladybug:** haha sike it’ll take u five minutes to get here no point

 **Heartbroken:** u forget we are literal superheroes

 **Heartbroken:** ill be there in 30 seconds

 **Foxy Lad:** ill be there in 29

 **Chat Noir:** mari im outside

 **Chat Noir:** u don’t want to look like shit for me right?

 **Chat Noir:** (haha beat u all)

 **Foxy Lad:** ADRIEN U SLY LITTLE BITCH

 **Chat Noir:** woah, language

 **Chat Noir:** I prefer hoe

 **Useless Lesbiam:** u know in the last series I called kagami ‘bros with one of my hoes’ and the author and I just feel like that line didn’t get its deserved recognition

 **Chat Noir:** there were many moments the author thought were gold that nobody else appreciated

 **Foxy Lad:** what?

 **Useless Lesbiam:** mwahaha I am also at the bakery let me in and feed me

 **Ladybug:** now im just worried about being attacked

 **Ladybug:** if u come in, sit in the bakery and wait. Ill be down soon. We can all be late

 **Chat Noir:** hurry upppppp

 **Chat Noir:** I miss ur faceeeeeeeee

 **Heartbroken:** flattery gets you everywhere

 **Foxy Lad:** OH SO YOU DON’T MISS MY FACE NINO?

 **Heartbroken:** how can I miss something that is always in my mind? <3

 **Useless Lesbiam:** yea so that was like borderline creepy

 **Heartbroken:** …<3 ?

 **Foxy Lad:** <3

 **Heartbroken:** AYYYY

 **Chat Noir:** AYYYYY

**Heartbroken has renamed themselves ‘IN LUUURVE’**

**Ladybug:** god I did not miss the wakeup calls my phone endlessly vibrating brought me

 **Ladybug:** but im glad u idiots are enjoying urselves

 **Useless Lesbiam:** yea u remember when we called her our leader

 **Useless Lesbiam:** mari is the mom friend

 **Foxy Lad:** bitch no she is not

 **Foxy Lad:** ladybug is peak mom material

 **Foxy Lad:** mari is an anxious mess

 **Foxy Lad:** it would be beneficial to her if she became the drunk aunt

 **Ladybug:** idk if I should be offended or happy u know so much about me

 **Foxy Lad:** alcohol eats away ur inhibitions

 **Foxy Lad:** go crazy

 **Useless Lesbiam:** guys we have like 3 minutes till school starts

 **Ladybug:** coming downstairs now

 **Ladybug:** get moving u guys, I’ll catch up

 **Foxy Lad:** I call bull

 **IN LUUURVE:** who bets she’s still in bed

 **IN LUUURVE:** say i

 **Foxy Lad:** i

 **Chat Noir:** i

 **Useless Lesbiam:** i

 **Ladybug:** not I because im gonna prove u all wrong

 **Ladybug:** HAHA HERE I AM

 **Ladybug:** DRESSED AND AWAKE

 **Foxy Lad:** wheres ur school bag

 **Ladybug:** oh fuck off alya I can last a day without a school bag

 **Useless Lesbiam:** stop typing and just walk up to her we’re like ten feet apart

 **Ladybug:** brb im getting my school bag

 **IN LUUURVE:** wow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave kudos and comments!!!! if u enjoyed!!!!!!! and tell me what u thought!!!!!!! i am a downright hoe (like adrien) for attention and i love all of you :))))))))) thank you for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's the second chapter!!! already!!! and i have big plans for this fic because i can smash out these chapters kind of daily and it's around christmas time!!! many things to come :)))

**17:28**

**Ladybug:** heya did u guys hear about that request for us to do an interview on live television?

 **Chat Noir:** I did!!! But I think they want to know our identities

 **Chat Noir:** so I don’t think it’s a very good idea

 **Foxy Lad:** it was nice of them to come through the Ladyblog tho

 **Foxy Lad:** and to not just ask Ladybug and Chat Noir, but the whole team…

 **Chat Noir:** talking of ‘the whole team’

 **Chat Noir:** didn’t you give a bunch of other people miraculouses at some point?

 **Ladybug:** haha yeah

 **Ladybug:** I was so blatantly obvious now I think about it

 **Ladybug:** I had to pick people I trusted so literally everyone in our class got a miraculous

 **Ladybug:** except for lila

 **Ladybug:** that bitch

 **Foxy Lad:** bitch

 **Chat Noir:** b*tch

 **Foxy Lad:** aww, a baby

 **Foxy Lad:** not a fan of bad language?

 **Chat Noir:** don’t want to get into the habit

 **Chat Noir:** I’m a public figure in and out of the suit, you know

 **Chat Noir:** gotta watch my back

 **Ladybug:** it’s ok I can do that for u <3

 **Foxy Lad:** LOOK AT ADRIEN’S ASS IN UR OWN TIME MARI GET BACK ON TOPIC

 **Chat Noir:** aww my lady

 **Chat Noir:** <3

 **IN LUURVE:** oh hey u guys

 **IN LUURVE:** I see we do in fact need this chat in the end

 **IN LUUURVE:** and it was all my idea : )

**Foxy Lad has renamed IN LUURVE ‘Ni-no’**

**Ni-no:** I think u mean ni-yes

 **Foxy Lad:** no not really

 **Ladybug:** it just doesn’t have that ring to it

 **Ni-no:** stop :(

 **Ni-no:** I think an interview is a great idea!

 **Ni-no:** we can tell paris what we’ll be doing to protect them now that the full on supervillain is out of the way

 **Ni-no:** good publicity never hurts

 **Foxy Lad:** damn y’all my baby knows his facts

 **Ni-no:** <3 only coz u told me all of this coz ur a journalism genius

 **Foxy Lad:** hahahaha don’t expose me

 **Ladybug:** I guess…

 **Ladybug:** as long as everyone keeps their cool

 **Ladybug:** it might be good for us to show paris we still care

 **Ladybug:** no identity stuff though

 **Foxy Lad:** and no relationship announcements

 **Foxy Lad:** that belongs to the Ladyblog

 **Ladybug:** yeah yeah u called dibs

 **Chat Noir:** I think it’s a great idea! I also stand with the idea of a group vlog of a patrol, maybe once a month or something

 **Chat Noir:** might be cool, would show we are only teenagers, u know…

 **Ladybug:** Adrien ur famous enough already

 **Foxy Lad:** yea u attention whore

 **Chat Noir:** :(

**Ni-no has renamed Chat Noir ‘Attention hoe’**

**Attention hoe:** :(

 **Ni-no:** sorry man I only speak the truth

 **Attention hoe:** yeah whatever

 **Ladybug:** alya can u respond accepting?

 **Ladybug:** not everyone has to go if u don’t want to

 **Ladybug:** they’re probably just asking for me and chat

 **Ladybug:** but it’ll be good for the public to know u guys when the two of us can’t be there

 **Attention hoe:** if we’re on a date and something happens we are not leaving

 **Ladybug:** Adrien

 **Attention hoe:** what? I waited years for this relationship

 **Ladybug:** me too bitch u ain’t special

 **Ladybug:** just kidding ur very special <3

 **Attention hoe:** <3

 **Foxy Lad:**!!!!!PDA!!!!!

 **Ni-no:** woah throwback

 **Attention hoe:** oh has anyone seen chlo? She’s usually online

 **Ladybug:** I haven’t seen her since lunch

 **Foxy Lad:** she’s probably on a date

 **Foxy Lad:** with her bae

 **Foxy Lad:** who is also a superhero

 **Ni-no:** mari u have a very limited pool of friends

 **Ni-no:** not small

 **Ni-no:** just… limited

 **Ladybug:** ‘not small, just small’

 **Ladybug:** IM LADYBUG I HAVE FRIENDS

 **Attention hoe:** u have me <3

 **Ladybug:** ur my boyfriend

 **Ladybug:** does he count?

 **Ni-no:** no

 **Attention hoe:** yes

 **Ladybug:** besides I don’t see u with any friends that I don’t also know

 **Attention hoe:** talking of friends, **@Useless Lesbiam**?

 **Ni-no:** im not saying u don’t have friends

 **Ni-no:** im just saying all ur friends are from one place

 **Ni-no:** school

 **Ladybug:** WHAT ABOUT LUKA AND KAGAMI AND JAGGED STONE AND CLARA NIGHTINGALE? ALL OF WHOM I HAVE THE NUMBERS OF

 **Foxy Lad:** holy shit u have clara nightingale’s number

 **Ladybug:** yeah jagged hooked us up she wanted a jacket

 **Ni-no:** u know luka and kagami through school, jagged is a grown man and clara… is awesome but that’s not the point

 **Ni-no:** what are ur extracurriculars mari

 **Ladybug:** uh idk I’ve been saving paris for several hours each evening since I was thirteen??? Don’t really get much free time

 **Ni-no:** maybe we should reveal our identities

 **Ni-no:** we’d get into unis and jobs left and right

 **Attention hoe: @Useless Lesbiam** chlo are u alright?

 **Ni-no:** don’t u want a job mari?

 **Ni-no:** don’t u want money

 **Ladybug:** idk about u but I plan to marry rich

 **Foxy Lad:** oop she’s using u Adrien

 **Ni-no:** or she just confessed she wants to marry him

 **Ladybug:** haha whoops nevermind ignore that

 **Attention hoe: @Useless Lesbiam**????

 **Foxy Lad:** wow

 **Foxy Lad:** guess it flew right over his head

 **Attention hoe:** nah I read it

 **Attention hoe:** I love you too, my lady

 **Attention hoe:** and I want to marry you someday

 **Ladybug:** ohmygod I just imploded

 **Attention hoe:** but right now im kinda worried about chloe because she’s always near her phone so why wouldn’t she be responding??

 **Attention hoe: @Useless Lesbiam** im coming over

 **Foxy Lad:** wait really? I thought when she’s with kagami she always ignores her phone

 **Ladybug:** but she also always boasts she’s got a date for like an hour before

 **Ladybug:** ur right

 **Ladybug:** Adrien do u want me to come too? Im closer

 **Attention hoe:** maybe, im about to leave now

 **Useless Lesbiam:** wait no don’t come over haha

 **Useless Lesbiam:** im fine

 **Useless Lesbiam:** just got caught up in some stuff and forgot to check my phone

 **Useless Lesbiam:** sorry

 **Ladybug:** don’t be sorry!!! are you sure you’re ok?

 **Useless Lesbiam:** yeah im all good

 **Useless Lesbiam:** I have homework though

 **Useless Lesbiam:** gotta go

 **Ni-no:** wow she’s really turning over a new leaf, good for her

 **Foxy Lad:** ugh I also have homework

 **Foxy Lad:** bye u guys

 **Ni-no:** bye babe!

**Private Messages - @Queen Bee @Chat Noir**

**Chat Noir:** Are you okay?

 **Queen Bee:** I’m fine, Adrien

 **Chat Noir:** bull, you never do your own homework

 **Chat Noir:** what’s wrong?

 **Chat Noir:** I won’t tell anyone

 **Queen Bee:** fine

 **Queen Bee:** it’s kagami

 **Queen Bee:** she broke up with me

 **Queen Bee:** she’s moving to go to some fancy university in Japan in a couple months, and she doesn’t want any attachments, including me

 **Chat Noir:** im on my way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thoughts? comments? don't forget to leave kudos!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here we have: THE NEXT LARGE CHUNK OF PLOT minus all the lil subplots ;)
> 
> thank you for joining us for round three of crack! glad to have u

**09:01**

**Foxy Lad:** good morning world it is a Saturday which means I could’ve slept in

 **Foxy Lad:** but I have siblings and they are nightmares that do not require sleep

 **Foxy Lad:** so now im here to torture all of you too :)

 **Ladybug:** stop im working on a fashion project

 **Ladybug:** I think I fell asleep for like an hour but I cant remember

 **Ladybug:** I have to go shower to help out with the bakery tho

 **Foxy Lad:** MARI that ain’t healthy

 **Ladybug:** haha I know

 **Ladybug:** it’s ok tho, ive adjusted my sleep schedule to fit three hours of sleep at random intervals in and be enough

 **Ladybug:** did that make grammatical sense

 **Foxy Lad:** doesn’t matter I get what u mean but go sleeeepppp

 **Ladybug:** nooooo

 **Ni-no:** morning babe and mari <3

 **Foxy Lad:** <3

 **Ladybug:** ugh

 **Ni-no:** </3

 **Ladybug:** no not at u

 **Ladybug:** I just looked at my shower

 **Ladybug:** I cannot be asked to stand to my full height to reach the thing

 **Foxy Lad:** u say full height as if it’s impressive

 **Ladybug:** literally shut up I just haven’t grown yet

 **Ladybug:** I could beat u up if I wanted

 **Ni-no:** we aren’t doubting u mari

 **Ni-no:** but you’d have to keep your eyes open to fight someone, and you’re always about to pass out

 **Ladybug:** health

 **Foxy Lad:** idk if that was supposed to say ‘healthy’ or if u meant it as it is

 **Ladybug:** neither do i

 **Ladybug:** gotta go shower

 **Ladybug:** you guys should come over for my lunch break I can smuggle snacks and we can all have a picnic

**Ladybug: @Attention hoe @Useless Lesbiam**

**Ladybug:** haha do u think they’re still asleep

 **Ladybug:** im jealous

 **Foxy Lad:** maRI GO SHOWER

 **Ladybug:** capitalssssssssss

 **Ni-no:** do u think she’s gone

 **Ni-no:** Adrien my dude, chlo my bro, where the fuck are u guys

 **Foxy Lad:** maybe they’re having a sleepover and haven’t checked their phones yet

 **Foxy Lad:** ooo wait

 **Foxy Lad: @Useless Lesbiam** I know ur reading my messages :/

 **Useless Lesbiam:** there’s too much power in that one emoticon to use so early in the morning

 **Ni-no:** YO CHLO MY BRO U HOE

 **Useless Lesbiam:** how long did that take u

 **Ni-no:** been working on it for like 3 years since I found out u were chill

 **Useless Lesbiam:** haha thanks

 **Useless Lesbiam:** adrien’s sleeping

 **Foxy Lad:**????

 **Useless Lesbiam:** probably

 **Useless Lesbiam:** not like I would know

 **Useless Lesbiam:** obviously

 **Foxy Lad:** riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight

 **Ni-no:** suspicious but im willing to let it go for my main bitch

 **Useless Lesbiam:** im assuming that’s me

 **Foxy Lad:** AND WHERE DOES THAT ;LEAVE ME

 **Ni-no:** ur my world

 **Ni-no:** bro

 **Foxy Lad:** doesn’t work on me go show that shit to Adrien

 **Ni-no:** MAYBE I WILL

 **Useless Lesbiam:** no he’s like legit asleep

 **Useless Lesbiam:** probably

 **Foxy Lad:** I am so confused

 **Foxy Lad: @Attention hoe** GET UP BOIIII

 **Attention hoe:** no

 **Foxy Lad:** ouch

 **Ni-no:** top 10 animal betrayals

 **Foxy Lad:** fuck off nino that is not a relevant meme

 **Useless Lesbiam:** where’s Marinette?

 **Foxy Lad:** showering I think

 **Foxy Lad:** YOU HEAR THAT ADRIEN?

 **Attention hoe:** yes

 **Attention hoe:** my girlfriend is in the shower

 **Attention hoe:** she will smell nice when I next see her

 **Foxy Lad:** is there a facepalm emoji?? I need one

 **Ni-no:** no

 **Foxy Lad:** :(

 **Foxy Lad:** ANYWAY

 **Foxy Lad:** picnic? Lunch? Outside mari’s bakery?

 **Attention hoe:** I don’t mind

 **Ni-no:** YEA BOIIII

 **Useless Lesbiam:** yeah sure it’s not like I see you idiots every day of my week anyway

 **Foxy Lad:** and yet you still miss us

 **Ni-no:** haha we’re a superhero team of couples mwahahaha

 **Ni-no:** chlo u ho ur a fifth wheel

 **Foxy Lad:** just invite kagami

 **Foxy Lad:** we can call it a triple date, not that it’ll be one

 **Attention hoe:** alya

 **Foxy Lad:** lmao what

 **Useless Lesbiam:** I can’t invite kagami

 **Useless Lesbiam:** we broke up

 **Ni-no:** oh

 **Foxy Lad:** im really sorry

 **Ni-no:** me too

 **Foxy Lad:** we know how much she meant to u

 **Attention hoe:** not helping u guys

 **Foxy Lad:** says u mr. oblivious bitch

 **Foxy Lad:** r u ok?

 **Useless Lesbiam:** I will be

 **Useless Lesbiam:** I just need some time

 **Useless Lesbiam:** a picnic with some idiots sounds like a good way to start a recovery

 **Ladybug:** IM BACK BITCHESSSSSSS

 **Ladybug:** IVE HAD FOUR CUPS OF COFFEE

 **Ladybug:** oh

 **Ladybug:** chloe im really sorry

 **Ladybug:** but u also know what this means right?

 **Useless Lesbiam:** k I also want the facepalm emoji

**Ladybug has renamed the group ‘GET CHLOE LAID’**

**Ladybug:** my time has come

 **Ladybug:** as a very lucky matchmaker

 **Ladybug:** no woman could resist the woes of a beautiful heartbroken woman

 **Ladybug:** let’s get u back in the gameeee

 **Useless Lesbiam:** I hate u

 **Ladybug:** LET’S MEET OUR CONTESTANTS

 **Foxy Lad:** sabrina (the teenage bitch)

 **Ni-no:** alix (sk8er boi)

 **Attention hoe:** Juleka (teenage dirtbag baby)

 **Foxy Lad:** Clara Nightingale (not really but mari could get u her number and she’s bi)

 **Ni-no:** Aurore (local celebrity, hot af, was akumatised, good rebound material)

 **Attention hoe:** and any other women we run into!

 **Ladybug:** let’s play: ELIMINATION

 **Useless Lesbiam:** eliminate sabrina and Juleka, not attracted to sabrina and isn’t Juleka dating rose?

 **Ladybug:** they’re in an: OPEN RELATIONSHIP

 **Foxy Lad:** damn caffeine really does work wonders

 **Useless Lesbiam:** well anyway im not attracted to them

 **Useless Lesbiam:** isn’t Aurore straight?

 **Ladybug:** she’s been posting public love letters to ladybug for like 3 years, I don’t think so

 **Useless Lesbiam:** then how do I have a shot with her?

 **Ladybug:** YOU’RE QUEEN BEE! Rich, smart and cute by day and brave, valiant and bold by night! Paris’ first line of defence!

 **Useless Lesbiam:** second, technically

 **Ladybug:** forget technicalities

 **Ladybug:** you could woo any woman

 **Ladybug:** let’s play: SEND THEM A TEXT

 **Useless Lesbiam:** no

 **Ladybug:** let’s play: SPIN THAT WHEEL AND WHOEVER IT LANDS ON YOU HAVE TO TEXT

 **Useless Lesbiam:** it’s an improvement

 **Ladybug:** whooooosh…..

 **Foxy Lad:** is she high?

 **Attention hoe:** probably

 **Ni-no:** don’t do drugs kids not even caffeine

 **Ladybug:** it landed on: ALIX

 **Useless Lesbiam:** is she gay?

 **Foxy Lad:** hoo boy very

 **Foxy Lad:** she’s also ace and proud

 **Foxy Lad:** OH YEAH U HAVEN’T BEEN TO PRIDE WITH US ALL YET

 **Foxy Lad:** next year

 **Ladybug:** text her text her text her text her text her

 **Useless Lesbiam:** fine ok im going

 **Ni-no:** …

 **Foxy Lad:** …

 **Attention hoe:** …

 **Ladybug:** …

 **Useless Lesbiam:** …done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can attest that caffeine works wonders... don't forget to leave kudos and comments!!! who do y'all think chloe is going to end up with? (also, do you have any more ships for her that i haven't mentioned?)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eijfhjksld im rlly sorry this was kind of late i thought it had been two days turns out it has been like a week and a bit but here u gooooo

**12:29**

**Ladybug:** GUESS WHAT

 **Ladybug:** IT’S CHRISTMAS

 **Foxy Lad:** mari what in the hell

 **Ladybug:** our main objective is to get chloe a main hoe once again

 **Ladybug:** so she isn’t a fifth wheel

 **Ladybug:** and what better time to date then at Christmas?

 **Ladybug:** u gotta curl up together coz it’s cold

 **Ladybug:** watch romantic Christmas rom coms

 **Ladybug:** ice skate…

 **Ladybug:** it’s literally the best!

 **Ladybug:** we should deck the entire Eiffel tower with tinsel

 **Ladybug:** OH MY GOD

 **Foxy Lad:** please no I don’t want to know

 **Ladybug:** I SHOULD MAKE MY YOYO TINSEL FOR ALL OF DECEMBER

 **Foxy Lad:** physics does not support that idea

 **Attention hoe:** BUT I DO

 **Attention hoe:** MY LADY THAT IS A GREAT IDEA

 **Ladybug:** CHRISTMASSSSS

 **Attention hoe:** CHRISTMASSSSS

 **Useless Lesbiam:** stop it, ur making me feel very single right now :(

 **Ni-no:** aww poor u

 **Ladybug:** not for long

 **Ladybug:** with the Christmas spirit

 **Ladybug:** u can pull any woman u like

 **Ni-no:** talking of which…

 **Foxy Lad:** how’s it going with alix?

 **Useless Lesbiam:** we’ve been talking for like four days

 **Useless Lesbiam:** we have a snapchat streak

 **Useless Lesbiam:** her streaks are always photos of her or videos or something

 **Useless Lesbiam:** it’s highkey really cute

 **Ladybug:** YOU’RE HIGHKEY REALLY CUTE

 **Foxy Lad:** where does this sudden energy come from

 **Ladybug:** is kwismas

 **Ni-no:** ewwwww mari

 **Attention hoe:** uwu

 **Ladybug:** thanks for ur support babe <3

 **Attention hoe:** any time <3

 **Foxy Lad:** YOU ARE NOT THE COUPLE AT HAND

 **Foxy Lad:** chlo

 **Foxy Lad:** can u ask her on a date plz?

 **Useless Lesbiam:** I literally tried to

 **Useless Lesbiam:** but she was like ‘oh u want me to invite sabrina and ivan and kim and max and mylene’ and I couldn’t say no

 **Useless Lesbiam:** I can try again

 **Ladybug:** CHRISTMAS IS ON UR SIDE

 **Useless Lesbiam:** do u even celebrate Christmas??

 **Ladybug:** I live in a fucking bakery of course I celebrate Christmas

 **Ladybug:** I get like 2 months of Christmas every year

 **Attention hoe:** you’re so lucky!!!

 **Ladybug:** I know right!!!

 **Ni-no:** besides, Christmas is all about the spirit

 **Ni-no:** who cares if you celebrate it religiously or not

 **Ni-no:** it’s about the annoying as hell songs, the decorations and the mostly shitty food that comes with it

 **Foxy Lad:** do I sense some Christmas resentment

 **Ladybug:** what would Mariah carey say

 **Ni-no:** idk

 **Attention hoe:** ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

 **Useless Lesbiam:** is silence from this groupchat

 **Ladybug:** A DATE FOR CHLOE

 **Useless Lesbiam:** YOU ARE SO AGGRESSIVE

 **Ladybug:** ask her outttttt

 **Useless Lesbiam:** I WANT TO TEXT THE NEXT PERSON

 **Useless Lesbiam:** you can’t make me text anyone

 **Attention hoe:** Yes we can.

 **Useless Lesbiam:** shut it adrikins the adults are talking

 **Ladybug:** SAYS YOU BABY

 **Ladybug:** that came out wrong

 **Foxy Lad:** very

 **Ni-no:** good effort tho, we can see what you’re going for

 **Useless Lesbiam:** gfrekdofijre I wanna be gay in the snowwww

 **Ladybug:** mood

 **Ladybug:** but u gotta get some good pussy first

 **Attention hoe:**?? im right here

 **Foxy Lad:** oh my god

 **Ni-no:** Adrien wtf

 **Foxy Lad:** Adrien what does pussy mean

 **Attention hoe:** pussy cat

 **Attention hoe:** obviously

 **Ladybug:** boi I thought we were over this

 **Useless Lesbiam:** don’t google that one if u wanna stay on mari’s good side

 **Attention hoe:** ok???

 **Foxy Lad:** moving SWIFTLY onwards

 **Foxy Lad:** let’s just like go to a gay bar

 **Useless Lesbiam:** im 17

 **Ni-no:** oh bullshit we all know you have a fake id

 **Ni-no:** we have literally all been out clubbing before

 **Useless Lesbiam:** FINE

 **Useless Lesbiam:** but at bars I always get approached by middle aged men, not hot women I would like to date

 **Ladybug:** then let’s go to a gay bar

 **Ladybug:** or a bar that has a lesbian’s night

 **Ladybug:** I’ll be moral support A

 **Ladybug:** (alya)

 **Foxy Lad:** I’ll be moral support B

 **Foxy Lad:** apparently

 **Attention hoe:** what about me??

 **Ni-no:** you mean us bro

 **Attention hoe:** sorry bro

 **Ni-no:** it’s ok bro

 **Ladybug:** OH, YOU KNOW WHAT

 **Useless Lesbiam:** what

 **Ladybug:** you should invite alix to lesbian night

 **Useless Lesbiam:** I thought I was picking up other chicks

 **Ladybug:** yeah

 **Ladybug:** u get numbers of women, and you put urself out there to alix

 **Ladybug:** to let her know ur attracted to women,,,, u know

 **Ladybug:** but we’re going all as friends

 **Ladybug:** u are a hot single woman at Christmas

 **Useless Lesbiam:** I know im hot but what does Christmas have to do with it

 **Foxy Lad:** u melt that snow

 **Ladybug:** women will throw themselves at u

 **Useless Lesbiam:** yeah whatever

 **Attention hoe:** talking of Christmas…

 **Attention hoe:** we should all do something!

 **Attention hoe:** I want to spend the evening with Nathalie, but we could go out in the day?

 **Useless Lesbiam:** im probably free all day

 **Foxy Lad:** me too

 **Ni-no:** me too

 **Ladybug:** WELL I’LL BE CELEBRATING

 **Ladybug:** I’d love to meet up

 **Attention hoe:** cool!!! Where

 **Useless Lesbiam:** sidenote clear ur boxing days we are going shopping

 **Foxy Lad:** ugh finally someone who appreciates shopping

**Foxy Lad: @Ladybug**

**Ladybug:** MY FEET GET TIRED

 **Attention hoe:** meeting u guys

 **Attention hoe:** Christmas

 **Ladybug:** CHRISTMAS

 **Ladybug:** why don’t we go for lunch?

 **Foxy Lad:** where will be open on Christmas day?

 **Ladybug:** …my parents bakery

 **Ni-no:** mari don’t ur parents hate us we never leave them alone

 **Ladybug:** THEY LOVE U GUYS

 **Ladybug:** they’re a little weary of Adrien

 **Foxy Lad:** well yeah u guys are 18 and spending the night…. Baby?

 **Ni-no:** got what u were going for but it did not land

 **Useless Lesbiam:** it was a valiant effort

 **Attention hoe:** a great attempt

 **Foxy Lad:** woah Adrien u understand?

 **Attention hoe:** of course!

 **Attention hoe:** You’re trying out new nicknames with mari!

 **Foxy Lad:** no

 **Useless Lesbiam:** no

 **Ni-no:** no

 **Attention hoe:** just kidding!

 **Attention hoe:** I know where babies come from ;)

 **Ladybug:** OH MY GOD

 **Foxy Lad:** nevermind please bring back the innocence

 **Ni-no:** u need JESUS

 **Useless Lesbiam:** that’s my main hoe

 **Attention hoe:** ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't forget kudos and comments! thank you for reading!! <3 
> 
> also adrien is a total crackhead and i regret nothing


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not to self promote but go add my tumblr @marichat-lovesquare :)))))))))))))

**12:41**

**Useless Lesbiam:** guess who’s got a DATE

 **Useless Lesbiam:** with a WOMAN

 **Useless Lesbiam:** seriously guys if u don’t get it ur idiots

 **Ladybug:** YOU???

 **Useless Lesbiam:** YES

 **Ladybug:** YES

**Useless Lesbiam has renamed themselves ‘Not so useless lesbian’**

**Not so useless lesbian:** it’s with alix

 **Not so useless lesbian:** if u were wondering

 **Ni-no:** hey guys

 **Ni-no:** WOAH chlo ur name is way too long for my poor brain

 **Not so useless lesbian:**???

**Ni-no has renamed Not so useless lesbian ‘Useful lesbian’**

**Ni-no:** much better

 **Useful lesbian:** yeah whatever

 **Useful lesbian:** im back in the dating world bitches

 **Useful lesbian:** on the prowl

 **Useful lesbian:** seductress extraordinaire

**Foxy lad has renamed Useful lesbian ‘Useful lesbiam’**

**Foxy Lad:** all is right with the world

 **Useful lesbiam:** STOP CHANGING MY NAME AN START LISTENING TO MEEE

 **Attention hoe:** hi y’all

 **Ladybug:** oh my god

 **Foxy Lad:** I shivered

 **Ni-no:** my soul has left my body

 **Ladybug:** never say that again

 **Attention hoe:** wow ok

 **Attention hoe:** clearly, I’m being attacked

 **Useful lesbiam:** OH YOU’RE BEING ATTACKED

 **Useful lesbiam:** I AM GOING ON A FUCKING DATE

 **Useful lesbiam:** YOU HOES

 **Useful lesbiam:** APPRECIATE ME

 **Foxy Lad:** sorry chloe

 **Ni-no:** yeah, we’re sorry

 **Ladybug:** hey I appreciate u

 **Useful lesbiam:** yeah thanks but the rest of u don’t

 **Attention hoe:** where are you going to go?

 **Useful lesbiam:** we’re gonna watch a Christmas movie over dinner at her house

 **Useful lesbiam:** ughhhh it’s gonna be so cute

 **Useful lesbiam:** what if I can’t talk to her

 **Ladybug:** as long as u don’t go on ur damn phone, it’ll work out

 **Ladybug:** no updating us

 **Ladybug:** she’ll think you’re bored

 **Useful lesbiam:** got it

 **Useful lesbiam:** I’ll just spill when I leave

 **Foxy Lad:** what about that other girl you texted?

 **Foxy Lad:** aurora

 **Ni-no:** Aurore

 **Ni-no:** r u going out with her

 **Useful lesbiam:** I haven’t asked her out

 **Useful lesbiam:** she’s nice

 **Useful lesbiam:** aren’t I betraying alix if I go on a date with her??

 **Foxy Lad:** not really

 **Ladybug:** until it’s officially a relationship, technically u can do whatever (whoever) u want

 **Attention hoe:** Marinette!

 **Ladybug:** what? It’;s ttrue

 **Foxy Lad:** ttrue

 **Ni-no:** ttrue

 **Ladybug:** oh please those typos were weak at best you can’t make fun of me for them

 **Ladybug:** OH CHLOE WHEN IS THE DATE

 **Useful lesbiam:** like tomorrow

 **Useful lesbiam:** why

 **Ladybug:** let’s go shopping

 **Useful lesbiam:** YES OK

 **Useful lesbiam:** I mean yeah cool ok

 **Ladybug:** last minute Christmas shopping time

 **Foxy Lad:** why aren’t we invited ;(

 **Ni-no:** obviously because she’s buying our gifts

 **Foxy Lad:** then why is chloe there

 **Attention hoe:** because she has money

 **Useful lesbiam:** because I’m the best at shopping!

 **Ni-no:** because mari isn’t getting her a present

 **Useful lesbiam:** wow

 **Useful lesbiam:** I really thought you guys were here for me

 **Ladybug:** option two is the correct one

 **Ladybug:** damn u guys are mean

 **Ni-no:** I need to turn off all kindness to save enough energy to do the ‘christmas cheer’ thing for an entire day

 **Foxy Lad:** same

 **Ladybug:** just…. Sleep?

 **Ni-no:** sleep is for the weak marinette

 **Ni-no:** also you’re a hypocrite

 **Foxy Lad:** we should all be sleeping in until like four every afternoon

 **Foxy Lad:** it’s the holidayssss

 **Ladybug:** wow that sounds horrible

 **Ladybug:** I get up at four

 **Attention hoe:** no you don’t

 **Ladybug:** sometimes I do!!!

 **Ladybug:** when I have to help out at the bakery for the morning shift

 **Ladybug:** baking takes forever so u gotta wake up hella early

 **Foxy Lad:** I thought that was if you live on a farm

 **Ladybug:** sssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh

 **Ladybug:** it can be both

 **Ni-no:** u sound as sleep deprived as the rest of us

 **Useful lesbiam:** OMG

 **Useful lesbiam:** YPU KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED

 **Ni-no:** ypu

 **Ladybug:** ypu

 **Attention hoe:** ypu

 **Foxy Lad:** ypu

 **Useful lesbiam:** STOP

 **Useful lesbiam:** WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY IS

 **Useful lesbiam:** all we ever talk about is my romance life

 **Useful lesbiam:** when are you all going on dates???

 **Ladybug:** tonight

 **Attention hoe:** in a few hours!!!

 **Foxy Lad:** we’re together right now

 **Ni-no:** joint babysitting party

 **Useful lesbiam:** urgh

 **Useful lesbiam:** I really thought I’d catch you out

 **Ni-no:** you should ask that aurore girl out

 **Foxy Lad:** I second that

 **Ladybug:** me three

 **Attention hoe:** I also agree because mari does

 **Useful lesbiam:** but what if she says no

 **Ladybug:** then who cares? Saying no is the worst thing she can do, nothing else

 **Ladybug:** shoot ur shot

 **Useful lesbiam:** u guys are the worst

 **Foxy Lad:** oh please you love us

 **Attention hoe:** <3

 **Useful lesbiam:** FINE

 **Useful lesbiam:** I’ll ask her out

 **Foxy Lad:** <3

 **Ladybug:** <3

 **Ni-no:** <3

 **Useless lesbiam:** <3

 **Useless lesbiam:** but only because it’s Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tl;dr chloe got a date (or two?), everyone is idiots that are also going on dates, it's christmas time
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T FORGET TO LEAVE KUDOSSSSSSSSSSSS AND COMMMMMMMMMENTSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU
> 
> that was very aggressive


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so like,,,, i know i make excuses every chapter but holy shit it's been a very intense month for me but i hope you can enjoy!!!! i had fun with this one, and the thing i've been wanting to say after reading your comments this ENTIRE TIME has finally come out in the plot!!!

**08:31**

**Ladybug:** HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!

 **Foxy Lad:** Mari it’s February

 **Ladybug:** …..ssshhhh

 **Ladybug:** I realised I was sleeping when it turned to 2020 and I forgot to wish it so im doing it now!!

 **Ni-no:** wow enthusiasm

 **Ni-no:** is it really a happy new year??

 **Ni-no:** Brexit, the corona virus, the Australian wildfires,,,

 **Foxy Lad:** hush we don’t have the corona virus in France yet

 **Attention hoe:** ALYA don’t jinx it

 **Attention hoe:** and happy birthday babe <3

 **Ladybug:** aww thanks babe <3

 **Ladybug:** wait birthday??

 **Attention hoe:** *new year

 **Attention hoe:** sorry my brain spazzed

 **Ladybug:** are you sure?

 **Ladybug:** or are you just not reading my texts????

 **Ladybug:** ARE YOU BORED OF ME ADRIEN

 **Attention hoe:** NO WHAT??? NEVER MY LADY

 **Ladybug:** DO I SENSE SARCASM???

 **Foxy Lad:** Adrien ignore her

 **Ladybug:** IM HEARTBROKEN

 **Attention hoe:** NO MARI IM SORRY

 **Foxy Lad:** when was the last time u slept

 **Ladybug:** I can’t remember why is that important

 **Attention hoe:** I’LL DO BETTER

 **Foxy Lad:** thought so

 **Foxy Lad:** Adrien chillax

 **Foxy Lad:** mari gets emotional when shes tired

 **Ni-no:** I thought she got cranky

 **Attention hoe:** yeah I thought she got afraid of capital letters

 **Foxy Lad:** ,,,character development??

 **Ladybug:** ADRIEN

 **Attention hoe:** MARI

 **Ladybug:** LET’S GO ON A DATE

 **Ladybug:** KISS UNDERNEATH THE FIREWORKS

 **Foxy Lad:** mari,,,,, it’s February

 **Ladybug:** I knowwww

 **Ladybug:** but I can’t believe I slept through new years and missed a chance to go to a 2020 party

 **Ladybug:** I wanna relive it

 **Ladybug:** maybe this is the time to make Alix be bunnyx

 **Ladybug:** TAKE ME BACK

 **Attention hoe:** woah woah woah

 **Attention hoe:** it’s valentines soon, babe

 **Attention hoe:** cant you wait?

 **Ladybug:** NO

 **Ladybug:** Adrien ur supposed to be supportive

 **Ni-no:** also I wasn’t gonna say anything but since when have u 2 started using babe

 **Ni-no:** it’s kinda weird

 **Foxy Lad:** yeah as the first couple me and nino dibsed babe u gotta look somewhere else suckers

 **Attention hoe:** I don’t know! I just use whatever pet names Mari’s comfortable with.

 **Ladybug:** aww honey nugget

 **Attention hoe:** not that one

 **Foxy Lad:** whatever

 **Foxy Lad:** mari???? Get some sleep pls

 **Foxy Lad:** or im coming over with that 6 hour animal documentary series

 **Foxy Lad:** and the sleepy hot chocolate

 **Ladybug:** I want the sleepy hot chocolate

 **Ladybug:** but it’s 8 in the morning

 **Ni-no:** almost nine

 **Attention hoe:** not the time nino

 **Foxy Lad:** nu uh ur taking a day off

 **Foxy Lad:** or at least a morning so u don’t totally fuck up your sleep schedule

 **Ni-no:** babe ur so smart

 **Foxy Lad:** thanks babe

 **Ni-no:** no problem babe

 **Attention hoe:** You’re right watching people use ‘babe’ is weird

 **Foxy Lad:** just asserting our dominance

 **Attention hoe:** what??

 **Ni-no:** what??

 **Foxy Lad:** what??????

 **Ladybug:** guYS

 **Ladybug:** PAY ATTENTION TO MEEE

 **Ladybug:** I want to watch the 6 hour documentary

 **Ladybug:** I want the sleepy hot chocolate

 **Ni-no:** this exchange is lowkey kind of weird???

 **Foxy Lad:** k im on my way

 **Foxy Lad:** babe cover for me

 **Ni-no:** ok babe

 **Foxy Lad:** aww thanks, babe

 **Ni-no:** np babe <3

 **Attention hoe:** stoP

 **Attention hoe:** I dislike ur dominance

 **Attention hoe:** I get it

 **Attention hoe:** I’ll go back to calling her ‘My Lady.’

 **Ni-no:** good

 **Ni-no:** see you at school??

 **Attention hoe:** ok

 **Attention hoe:** btw has anyone seen chlo?

 **Ladybug:** not since her DATE WITH ALIX YESTERDAY

 **Foxy Lad:** wtf mari you went outside to stalk her date but you didn’t sleep??

 **Ladybug:** shhhh

 **Foxy Lad:** whatever get off ur phone and make us a pillow fort

 **Ladybug:** yes sir

 **Foxy Lad:** eww im not into that

 **Useful lesbiam:** yeah right

 **Attention hoe:** CHLOE!!!

 **Useful lesbiam:** yes hello adrikins

 **Attention hoe:** where have you been???

 **Useful lesbiam:** I was getting ready, obviously

 **Useful lesbiam:** beauty takes time

 **Useful lesbiam:** I couldn’t afford to be on my phone like you weirdos

 **Ni-no:** then why are you here now?

 **Useful lesbiam:** I have a sixth sense for when people are talking about me

 **Attention hoe:** how was your date????

 **Useful lesbiam:** idk ask Marinette

 **Ladybug:** HEY!

 **Ladybug:** im a wingwoman at work here

 **Foxy Lad:** pillow fort, mari

 **Ladybug:** ok

 **Useful lesbiam:** it went,,,ok?

 **Useful lesbiam:** Like I like alix and stuff and she’s cute and I like dates

 **Useful lesbiam:** but I still like kagami

 **Useful lesbiam:** and I’m texting aurore on the side

 **Useful lesbiam:** isn’t that unfair on her?

 **Foxy Lad:** I think you should talk to her about it

 **Foxy Lad:** yes, going on dates is important for a ‘rebound’

 **Foxy Lad:** but do you see the relationship going anywhere? If you still haven’t caught feelings, she may not be for you

 **Useful lesbiam:** wise

 **Useful lesbiam:** and many, many words that I cannot be bothered to read all at once. Give me a minute

 **Attention hoe:** Alya’s right!!!! If alix doesn’t make your heart go whooooosh by now, she probably isn’t the best rebound option!

 **Useful lesbiam:** but what if I hurt her like kagami did me

 **Ni-no:** is it better to hurt her now or break her heart later?

 **Useful lesbiam:** I guess…

 **Ladybug:** preach

 **Foxy Lad:** PILLOW FORT MARI

 **Ladybug:** GAH IM TRYING BUT MY PHONE KEEPS BUZZING

 **Useful lesbiam:** whatever im at school now have fun with your nap mari and alya, I’ll see whoever I see at school

 **Attention hoe:** bye!!!!!

 **Ni-no:** wait chloe,,,, did you ever get closure with kagami?

 **Useful lesbiam:** what do u mean

 **Ni-no:** like, why did she break up with you?

 **Useful lesbiam:** oh

 **Useful lesbiam:** no, not really

 **Ni-no:** do you think it would help to know?

 **Useful lesbiam:** what, for her to tell me to my face that she doesn’t like me like that anymore?

 **Ni-no:** but what if that isn’t the reason

 **Ladybug:** the boy has a point

 **Foxy Lad:** MARI OH MY GOD

 **Ladybug:** OK IM PUTTING AWAY MY PHONE

 **Ni-no:** im just saying her telling you she doesn’t have feelings for you might help you to move on?

 **Attention hoe:** only do what you’re comfortable with chlo!!!

 **Useful lesbiam:** that is an interesting point

 **Useful lesbiam:** we’ll see

 **Useful lesbiam:** maybe I’ll talk to her if I see her

**16:41**

**Attention hoe:** y’all kagami isn’t at fencing

 **Attention hoe: @Useful lesbiam** any clues??

 **Ni-no:** I haven’t seen her all day

 **Foxy Lad:** mari’s napping again

 **Foxy Lad:** but I didn’t see her car pass by the bakery, and she usually comes home this way

 **Attention hoe:** huh,,, weird

 **Attention hoe:** I hope she’s ok?

 **Attention hoe: @Useful lesbiam** did you talk to her

 **Ni-no:** maybe they’re talking now

 **Foxy Lad:** wait I see her

 **Foxy Lad:** she’s running away from the school

 **Foxy Lad:** chloe??? Catch up to her romantic gesture time???

**Attention hoe: @Useful lesbiam**

**Useful Lesbiam:** yes sorry im online

 **Attention hoe:** what happened?

 **Useful lesbiam:** kagami and I talked

 **Attention hoe:** AND???

 **Foxy Lad:** YES???

 **Useful Lesbiam:** and she still has feelings for me

 **Ni-no:** what?

 **Ni-no:** WHAT???

 **Foxy Lad:** then why tf did she break up with you??

 **Useful lesbiam:** apparently her mom didn’t know before that we were in that kind of relationship

 **Useful lesbiam:** but she found out

 **Useful lesbiam:** and in a month and a bit, kagami’s flying back to Japan

 **Useful lesbiam:** permanently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *mic drop*
> 
> DID Y'ALL EXPECT THAT? (legit question)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all here's a chapter, apparently this work still exists

**23:17**

**Private Messages - @Queen Bee @Ladybug**

**Ladybug:** hey chloe r u ok?

 **Queen Bee:** meh

 **Queen Bee:** I’m managing

 **Queen Bee:** Adrien suggested this thing?? Journalling??

 **Queen Bee:** so I tried that, and then I wrote a long ass letter about my feelings, and then I tried to text kagami

 **Queen Bee:** but either she’s blocked me, or her mom has taken away her phone

 **Ladybug:** im rlly sorry chloe

 **Queen Bee:** yeah, me too

 **Queen Bee:** but thank you for being here to offer me support

 **Ladybug:** do u want me to talk to kagami?

 **Queen Bee:** I mean u can, I’m not stopping u

 **Queen Bee:** but idk what to say to her

 **Queen Bee:** I mean, I feel like shit

 **Ladybug:** what??

 **Queen Bee:** I mean, I’ve been so self-obsessed this entire time; going on dates and stuff when kagami has literally been trapped at home with her bitch of a mother

 **Queen Bee:** we told each other that we loved each other

 **Ladybug:** don’t feel bad for trying to heal a broken heart when you didn’t have all of the facts

 **Ladybug:** kagami was probably trying to make it easier on the both of you by just breaking up with you now instead of letting your relationship progress and then disappearing

 **Ladybug:** but now that you know, you have a month, right?

 **Queen Bee:** her mom won’t let me near the house, and other than fencing and school, she doesn’t get out of the house

 **Queen Bee:** there is literally no way for me to see her

 **Ladybug:** why not go to fencing?

 **Ladybug:** I did that once or twice with Adrien

 **Queen Bee:** yeah, well u were obsessed

 **Ladybug:** you deserve a love story, chloe.

 **Ladybug:** there has to be a solution

 **Ladybug:** even if it’s ladybug showing up and sucker punching tomoe

 **Queen Bee:** omfg ladybug u can’t punch her

 **Ladybug:** what, coz she’s blind?? I can take her

 **Queen Bee:** no coz she’d pummel u

 **Queen Bee:** thank u for trying, though

 **Queen Bee:** but really… I don’t see a solution

**04:11**

**Ni-no:** I think I have a solution

 **Foxy Lad:** go to sleep

 **Ni-no:** no alya u fuckign go to sleep

 **Foxy Lad:** k

 **Ni-no:** NO WAIT SOMEONE NEEDS TO HEAR MY MASTER PLAN

 **Ni-no:** ok so tomoe’s a raging homophobe right

 **Ni-no:** but she likes connections

 **Ni-no:** so what if we pretend kagami’s going out with Adrien, and chloe’s going out with mari, and y’all keep on going on double dates until kagami can get emancipated or move out or something

 **Foxy Lad:** nino how tf is a 17 year old supposed to fully financially support themselves with school in the way

 **Ni-no:** ye but that’s the thing

 **Ni-no:** right before kagami is supposed to leave, there’s this huge fencing event, like all of Europe big

 **Ni-no:** and the winning money is 50,000 euros

 **Ni-no:** which is lowkey ridiculous for fencing but it’s this huge televised event for juniors and apparently people eat this shit up because it only happens once every 5 years

 **Attention hoe:** nino this is a horrible plan

 **Ni-no:** morning my dude!!!

 **Ni-no:** and hey

 **Attention hoe:** it’s insanely reckless – yes kagami is incredible, but is she that good

 **Attention hoe:** and 50,000 sounds like a lot but it won’t last forever, it’d get eaten up in taxes and living expenses in a year

 **Attention hoe:** and emancipation??? A lawyer would cost money, and the entire process would drain funds we don’t have

 **Ni-no:** funds _we_ don’t have

 **Ni-no:** Adrien, ur famous

 **Ni-no:** u make money for posting on Instagram

 **Attention hoe:** nino if I could help I’d have offered ages ago

 **Attention hoe:** but the court is still deciding what to do with the money so I have little to none of it

 **Attention hoe:** and I’m living in a tiny apartment with Nathalie, so I can’t just throw money at you

 **Attention hoe:** sorry if that sounded crabby, it’s 4am

 **Ni-no:** no ur right

 **Ni-no:** I’m sorry

 **Foxy Lad:** ok great you two are happy can we get back to the issue??

 **Foxy Lad:** that plan lowkey isn’t bad??

 **Ladybug:** she can stay at my house

 **Ladybug:** I have room, and my parents would live having her around

 **Ladybug:** if she wants a job, she can work at the bakery when I do – but rent would be free

 **Ladybug:** I agree, we have to get kagami out of that house

 **Ladybug:** our group rlly is filled with toxic parents isn’t it

 **Attention hoe:** ur telling me

 **Foxy Lad:** ok so that’s all chill

 **Foxy Lad:** but what about uni? Your parents can’t pay for that, mari

 **Ladybug:** have u forgotten we’re in France?? 50,000 would cover medical school if kagami wanted to go

 **Ladybug:** doesn’t she turn 18 soon?

 **Ni-no:** and she’s allowed to move out now, but at 18 she doesn’t need a legal guardian

 **Foxy Lad:** ok, but how do we approach her about the plan??

 **Attention hoe:** I’ll do it

 **Attention hoe:** I see her at fencing, and she considers me a trustworthy friend

 **Ladybug:** guys what if we wake up tomorrow and this is a shitty plan

 **Useful lesbiam:** it isn’t

 **Useful lesbiam:** it’s a bit risky, but hey

 **Ni-no:** now let’s take down tomoe and get chloe the girl

 **Foxy Lad:** in a bit, im going back to sleep

 **Attention hoe:** yeah same

 **Ladybug:** nino wtf possessed u to start this at 4am

 **Ni-no:** I was excited ok I thought I’d come up with a genius plan

 **Ni-no:** just go back to bed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> any thoughts?? they finally have a plan! (although it's very shaky, and needs a lot of refining, because they're all very sleep deprived)
> 
> and don't forget to leave comments and kudos!! :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lowkey every chapter note i write now is 'sorry for not updating' so fuck that i am sorry but that shit gets old fast so never again
> 
> Quick reminder on everyone's names since it's been a hot second:  
> Ladybug: mari  
> Attention hoe: adrien  
> Foxy Lad: alya  
> Ni-no: nino  
> Useful lesbiam: chloe
> 
> hope you enjoy & thank you for reading!!!!

**08:06**

**Ladybug:** good morning

 **Ladybug:** I have not slept

 **Ladybug:** because my parents get up at 4 and they found out I was awake so I’ve been helping them bake

 **Ladybug:** can someone push me off the face of the earth please

 **Foxy Lad:** with pleasure

 **Foxy Lad:** nino I love u but 4??? Rlly

 **Ni-no:** hey give me more credit

 **Ni-no:** I stayed up brainstorming ideas for us to get kagami out

 **Foxy Lad:** u had a dream didn’t u

 **Ni-no:** maybe it originated as a dream, but we came out with a decent idea!

 **Ni-no:** you should thank your lucky stars that my tired brain is so damn creative

 **Attention hoe:** do you think Nathalie will let me take a sick day?

 **Foxy Lad:** absolutely

 **Ladybug:** NO Adrien don’t leave meeeeee

 **Attention hoe:** ok my lady <3

 **Attention hoe:** FOR YOU I will awaken

 **Foxy Lad:** well damn if that ain’t the noblest shit I’ve seen today

 **Ni-no:** babe it’s 8am u haven’t seen shit

 **Foxy Lad:** I’ve seen ur face tho

 **Ladybug:** HARSH BURN

 **Foxy Lad:** high five me when u get to school

 **Ni-no:** mari??? We literally grew up together I thought u were on my side

 **Foxy Lad:** nah bro

 **Foxy Lad:** I have corrupted her

 **Attention hoe:** but mari isn’t corrupt, she’s great

 **Ladybug:** slfkjejd

 **Ladybug:** does anybody forget sometimes that Adrien is the purest human being

 **Ni-no:** you know sometimes I think that but then I think back to that one time he told us all where babies come from and then I revoke my statement

 **Attention hoe:** nobody remembers that

 **Ni-no:** I DO BITCH

 **Ni-no:** ur my bro but… u scarred me

 **Attention hoe:** im soryr <3

 **Ladybug:** soryr

 **Foxy Lad:** soryr

 **Ni-no:** soryr

 **Useful lesbiam:** soryr

 **Ni-no:** I FORGIVE U <3

 **Foxy Lad:** dam that was aggressive

 **Ladybug:** morning chloe!!!

 **Useful lesbiam:** usually it’s Adrien who says good morning

 **Useful lesbiam:** what do u want

 **Ladybug:** nothing!!!

 **Ladybug:** wait actually I want to know how ur feeling

 **Foxy Lad:** LSDVBFN SO SMOOTH

 **Ni-no:** THAT TRANSITION

 **Foxy Lad:** THAT SKILL

 **Ladybug:** stfu she’s trying to talk here

 **Useful lesbiam:** I’m feeling good I guess. A bit nervous tho

 **Attention hoe:** understandable!!!

 **Attention hoe:** if I were in ur position I’d be an anxious mess!

 **Foxy Lad:** Adrien,,, u are an anxious mess

 **Attention hoe:** nu uh I can order for myself at McDonald’s

 **Ladybug:** oh so mcdonalds gets proper capitalisation but everything else doesn’t???

 **Foxy Lad:** hecc yeah I taught the boi right

 **Useful lesbiam:** imma try and catch kagami at lunch just so u guys know

 **Ni-no:** not before school?

 **Useful lesbiam:** nah she’s one of those prestigious bitches that shows up in a car like 5 mins before school starts so she doesn’t have to socialise before class

 **Attention hoe:** umm,,,,

 **Attention hoe:** so am I then???

 **Ladybug:** ye but neither of u are in that situation willingly

 **Useful lesbiam:** exactly

 **Useful lesbiam:** besides at lunch we have an hour and she never goes home

 **Useful lesbiam:** we used to hang out in the library so she’ll probs be in there

 **Ladybug:** do u want us there?? For like moral support

 **Useful lesbiam:** will u cry

 **Ladybug:** probably

 **Useful lesbiam:** idk like I kinda want u guys there but this is also a private thing sort of because we’re asking a lot of her

 **Foxy Lad:** so what ur saying is cry quietly

 **Useful lesbiam:** asnelddd y’all are disasters

 **Ni-no:** hell yeah

 **Attention hoe:** we own it

 **Useful lesbiam:** moving on my bit is done go back to ur crack

 **Ladybug:** does anybody have like a red bull or something

 **Foxy Lad:** not for u bitch

 **Foxy Lad:** how many cups of coffee have u had

 **Ladybug:** 3

 **Foxy Lad:** …

 **Attention hoe:** …

 **Ladybug:** FINE I’ve had 4 stfu I couldn’t resist

 **Ladybug:** but I’m still tired except now im also shaking

 **Ni-no:** mari have some green tea or something

 **Ladybug:** where do I get green tea from lol and does it have caffeine in it

 **Foxy Lad:** STOP IT JUST HAVE WATER

 **Attention hoe:** aggressive

 **Useful lesbiam:** mari just sleep through ur free period don’t u have like an hour

 **Ladybug:** well yeah but I usually do art in that hour

 **Ni-no:** sleep is more important

 **Ni-no:** u have to remain fully conscious for lunchtime

 **Ladybug:** good point

 **Ladybug:** but what if someone draws on my face with marker

 **Attention hoe:** well now you’ve given us the idea…

 **Ladybug:** I s2g Adrien I will slap u

 **Attention hoe:** bold of u to assume I’m not into that

 **Ni-no:** OH MY GOD

 **Foxy Lad:** KEEP THAT NASTY SHIT AWAY FROM THIS GC

 **Useful lesbiam:** lol no ur not

 **Attention hoe:** chlo oh my god let me have my moment

 **Foxy Lad:** chloe has anybody ever told u ur the queen of salt

 **Ni-no:** u know what she’s the queen of rn

 **Ni-no:** nerves

 **Ni-no:** u okay boo?

 **Foxy Lad:** THAT WAS SMOOTH 2 WTF

 **Useful lesbiam:** wow Nino I didn’t know u had it in u

 **Ni-no:** lowkey stfu we’re close now we binged avatar together

 **Ni-no:** also ur leg hasn’t stopped shaking

 **Attention hoe:** wait u 2 r next to each other??

 **Ladybug:** WAIT U 2 BINGED AVATAR

 **Ladybug:** without ME

 **Useful lesbiam:** sorry not sorry, u were sleeping

 **Ladybug:** I feel so betrayed

 **Foxy Lad:** top 10 anime betrayals

 **Ni-no:** boo old meme

 **Foxy Lad:** wtf im the bully in this relationship

 **Ni-no:** CHLOEEEEE

 **Ni-no:** are u okayyyyy

 **Useful lesbiam:** spfn I’ll be fine

 **Useful lesbiam:** lowkey can I have some green tea 2 tho

 **Ladybug:** we’ll be right there chlo

 **Ladybug:** 2 bookshelves away

 **Ladybug:** we’ll be like ur personal bodyguards

 **Foxy Lad:** honey u couldn’t hurt a fly

 **Ladybug:** I literally??? Save paris????? Daily??????

 **Foxy Lad:** my statement still stands

 **Useful lesbiam:** thank u mari I appreciate u

 **Ni-no:** ahEM

 **Useful lesbiam:** u 2, nino

 **Attention hoe:** :(

 **Useful lesbiam:** and u

 **Foxy Lad:** lowkey not even gonna ask

 **Useful lesbiam:** wise

 **Useful lesbiam:** in all seriousness tho

 **Useful lesbiam:** u guys know I love u right

 **Ladybug:** sofned im too caffeinated for this imma cry

 **Foxy Lad:** hoe u would cry anyways

 **Ni-no:** bold words from someone who is ALSO CRYING

 **Useful lesbiam:** help nino’s hugging me

 **Ni-no:** I’m the sokka to ur katara

 **Ladybug:** U REPLACED ME AS KATARA 2

 **Useful lesbiam:** personally I lowkey wanna be azula she’s hot

 **Attention hoe:** GAY

 **Useful lesbiam:** ye no shit

 **Ni-no:** scnkd where r u guys class is about to start

 **Ladybug:** COMING SLKNK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so i was seriously debating whether to write the confrontation or not and i've decided not to, which means next chap is where the stuff starts happening!!!
> 
> also this fic is 100% gonna go down a route u probably weren't expecting because i was also not expecting it, but i hope u like it lol
> 
> thank u for reading!!! don't forget to leave kudos & comments if u enjoyed!!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yayy a long chapter

**15:17**

**Useful lesbiam:** hey

 **Useful lesbiam:** so now that school is like over n stuff

 **Useful lesbiam:** can we pls talk

 **Ladybug:** no im busy

 **Foxy Lad:** ldfkjnemk she ran away 10 mins into class to cry in the toilets and hasn’t come back

 **Ladybug:** im emotioNAL OK

 **Attention hoe:** aww my Lady

 **Attention hoe:** I think it’s cute

 **Attention hoe:** but yes!!! Let’s talk

 **Ni-no:** y’all I just want to let u know that im rlly proud of u all and I love u and ur the best and I admire how ur so strong

 **Useful lesbiam:** eww sap

 **Ni-no:** bitch we’re legit best friends now stfu

 **Attention hoe:** oh so HE gets to say y’all

 **Attention hoe:** DON’T THINK I DON’T REMEMBER WHEN EVERYONE TOLD ME I COULDN’T SAY IT

 **Useful lesbiam:** well ye but nino’s my bff

 **Ni-no:** <3

 **Attention hoe:** we literally grew up together???

 **Ladybug:** sldffn stop we have important things to talk about

 **Foxy Lad:** nooo this was some good entertainment I got my popcorn out and everything

 **Useful lesbiam:** ANYWAY

 **Useful lesbiam:** I think we should add kagami to the gc

 **Attention hoe:** what???

 **Attention hoe:** like I love kagami and stuff but isn’t this a group chat of heroes

 **Useful lesbiam:** yeah but kags is Ryuuko so she’s a hero 2

 **Ladybug:** OH MY GOD WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER WITH SECRET IDENTITIES

 **Ni-no:** even I knew that one

 **Ni-no:** after I figured out the 5 of us it rlly wasn’t hard to figure everyone else out

 **Attention hoe:** KAGAMI IS RYUUKO???

 **Foxy Lad:** you poor, poor child

 **Attention hoe:** stfu im literally rich

 **Ladybug:** OHHHHHHHHH DAMNN

 **Useful lesbiam:** this is why I hate y’all u can’t stay on topic

 **Ni-no:** im listening

 **Useful lesbiam:** I know u are coz ur the best

 **Useful lesbiam:** im talking to the rest of these heathens

 **Ladybug:** before u add her, did u explain everything??

 **Useful lesbiam:** u were literally right there

 **Foxy Lad:** yeah but she was distracted

 **Ladybug:** yeah but I was distracted

 **Ladybug:** OH MY GOD ALYA <3

 **Foxy Lad:** haha beat u mine went through first

 **Useful lesbiam:** I explained everything – the fencing tournament, the living with mari and working in the bakery, the prize money going towards uni, the whole lot of it

 **Useful lesbiam:** she said she needed to think it through

 **Ni-no:** I respect that

 **Ni-no:** this is a big decision

 **Ladybug:** ok

 **Ladybug:** IF we add her to the gc we have to be serious because she’s going through a lot and we can’t distract her with our crack

 **Useful lesbiam:** she was literally dating me she can put up with it

 **Attention hoe:** can confirm

 **Ni-no:** can also confirm lol

 **Ni-no:** chlo what possesses u to look at Gucci watches when ur having a breakdown at 3am and text ppl asking for which one to buy

 **Useful lesbiam:** jesus, obviously

 **Useful lesbiam:** but ok should I add her?

 **Foxy Lad:** yes!! She seems cool but we’ve only had like 2 convos lol

 **Attention hoe:** YESSSSS

 **Useful lesbiam:** k im gonna

 **Ladybug:** WAIT WAIT

**Useful lesbiam has added Kagami Tsuguri**

**Ladybug:** SLKFNEMLVJ

**Ladybug has renamed themselves ‘nOT LADYBUG’**

**Kagami Tsuguri:** hello everyone

 **Attention hoe:** hey!!!!!!

 **Kagami Tsuguri:** I don’t know who you are

 **nOT LADYBUG:** im marinette haha

 **Attention hoe:** im Adrien :D

 **Foxy Lad:** I’m alya cesaire

 **Ni-no:** im nino

 **Useful lesbiam:** and im ur one true love

 **Kagami Tsuguri:** several of your names are incorrect

**Kagami Tsuguri has renamed ‘nOT LADYBUG’ ‘Ladybug’**

**Kagami Tsuguri has renamed ‘Attention hoe’ ‘Whore’**

**Kagami Tsuguri has renamed ‘Useful lesbiam’ ‘Useless gay’**

**Kagami Tsuguri:** I don’t know the two of you well enough to deem whether your nicknames are accurate or not

 **Ladybug:** slkvfnedofj

 **Whore:** WKEJFHE KAGAMI UR SO MEAN

 **Kagami Tsuguri:** I am only doing what’s right

**Useless gay has renamed ‘Kagami Tsuguri’ ‘Bully gay’**

**Bully gay:** if this is the price I must pay for justice, I will wear it with pride

 **Useless gay:** ye I should probably have told u guys she’s a savage lol

 **Ladybug:** I don’t??? understand my name?? tho?????

 **Ni-no:** LKDJNKDFIJ

 **Foxy lad:** babe do u want some popcorn

 **Bully gay:** your name is because you’re Ladybug

 **Ladybug:** WHAT

 **Ladybug:** im not ladybug

 **Ladybug:** im marinette,,,,,

 **Bully gay:** you are the same person

 **Ladybug:** CHLOE DID U TATTLE

 **Useless gay:** what no

 **Useless gay:** she figured it out before I did lmao

 **Useless gay:** I figured it out because she was dropping so many hints

 **Useless gay:** and because im a genius

 **Bully gay:** debateable

 **Useless gay:** DO U WANT MY LOVE AND AFFECTION OR NOT

 **Whore:** but… my name

 **Bully gay:** your name was too long for my eyes, so I paraphrased

 **Foxy Lad:** first capitols hurt mari’s head and now kagami can’t read long words

 **Ladybug:** they only hurt my head in the mornings stfu alya

 **Bully gay:** But your name was actually rather accurate, adrien

 **Bully gay:** you are a whore

 **Ladybug:** ahhh the sweet taste of justice

 **Whore:** I’M NOT A WHORE

 **Ni-no:** bro u legit wore a skintight leather suit and had the entirety of paris thirsting over u and were a terrible flirt for like 5 years

 **Whore:** I had no control over my suit!!!

 **Ladybug:** boi,,,, ur suit is legit whatever u want it to be

 **Ladybug:** the entire point of it is u have full control over it

 **Whore:** FINE

 **Whore:** but I’m only a whore for u my lady <3

 **Foxy Lad:** NINO WE’RE BEING OUT COUPLED

 **Ni-no:** UNACCEPTABLE

 **Useless gay:** u guysssss can we please focus

 **Useless gay:** everyone knows kagami and I are the best couple

 **Bully gay:** debatable

 **Useless gay:** What’s THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

 **Bully gay:** u do make up 50% of this relationship

 **Useless gay:** ,,,fair

 **Useless gay:** but yes anyway we should discuss the plan

 **Whore:** the fencing tournament is next week right?

 **Whore:** kagami and I can train every day for it

 **Whore:** not that u need it, miss national champion

 **Bully gay:** I am not a national champion on this continent yet, so that’s invalid

 **Bully gay:** the only titles I hold are in Japan, and a few in South Korea

 **Foxy Lad:** wfkredkf ‘yet’ im quaking the confidence

 **Bully gay:** are you particularly insecure, alya?

 **Foxy Lad:** ,,,,no?

 **Bully gay:** oh ok

 **Bully gay:** I’m trying to find a nickname for you

 **Foxy Lad:** I’m lowkey good with the one I have

 **Foxy Lad:** WAIT NO I HATE IT I’VE HAD THIS SINCE THE BEGINNING FIND ME A NEW ONE

 **Bully gay:** I will try my best

 **Whore:** so what else

 **Ladybug:** the fencing competition is in Finland

 **Ladybug:** the cheapest way to get there is by flight, which costs about 60 euros for the cheapest tickets

 **Ladybug:** with a formal application, the competition will fund two return trips for the competitor and their ‘guardian’

 **Ladybug:** hotels are also taken care of for one night but I think the competition lasts 3 days total for the finalists because it’s being filmed

 **Ladybug:** so you’ll have to pay for the second night

 **Ni-no:** hot damn mari u did ur research

 **Ladybug:** I didn’t go back to sleep after that 4am chat remember

 **Ladybug:** I would say im sick of kneading bread but it gave me extra time before I set off to school

 **Bully gay:** so who’s coming with me?

 **Useless gay:** me

 **Whore:** usually I’d agree, but chloe u aren’t 18 so u can’t be her guardian

 **Useless gay:** can’t I come anyway?

 **Useless gay:** I’ll pay for my flights

 **Useless gay:** and I’m already paying for the hotel rooms, right

 **Ni-no:** actually, we were thinking you’d need to stay here to do damage control

 **Ni-no:** kagami’s mother will probably be pissed when she finds out kagami’s gone for 3 days

 **Ni-no:** if she finds out it’s with u, it might make it worse

 **Ni-no:** that’s why we were thinking adrien should go

 **Whore:** why me?

 **Ladybug:** you’re 18, and tomoe approves of u

 **Whore:** ok I’ll let Nathalie know

 **Ladybug:** meanwhile, whilst the 2 of u are in finland, the rest of us have to figure out a way to get all of kagami’s things into my house

 **Ladybug:** we were thinking kagami packs a suitcase of everything she needs, and a smaller bag that she brings on the trip, and takes both to the airport, where we’ll intercept the suitcase and bring it back to my house, so your mom doesn’t get suspicious

 **Ladybug:** and then you win, and come straight back to my house where u live for 2 months until u turn 18

 **Bully gay:** this is all very well thought out

 **Ni-no:** thanks we came up with it this morning

 **Bully gay:** thank you all, very much

 **Bully gay:** I cannot begin to express how thankful I am that you all decided to try to help

 **Whore:** of course

 **Whore:** we love you, kagami

 **Useless gay:** ^^ he’s right

 **Ladybug:** and you don’t deserve this

 **Whore:** yeah

 **Whore:** kagami ur mom’s going DOWN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we have fleshed out the plan. ignore the fact that i spent like an hour googling french laws and couldn't find anything about legal emancipation of a minor/whether u were allowed to move out before 18, so i decided to make up the law myself!!
> 
> don't forget to leave kudos and comments if u enjoyed, and thank you for reading!!!
> 
> also if the love i have for kagami doesn't shine through in this chap i have failed as an author


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have achieved updating enlightenment, all 3 of my currently updating stories have plans and are being traded between regularly but at the same time i cannot introduce a 4th one into the mix coz it'd fuck it up, but i want to so bad ugh
> 
> also sorry i feel like this chapter's kind of shitty i 100% did not proofread it

**07:21**

**Whore:** Good morning!

 **Whore:** it is day 1 of our plans

 **Whore:** kagami and I are meeting in 15 minutes to get training started before school

 **Useless gay:** wtf are u mission reporting for

 **Useless gay:** we literally sorted all this shit out yesterday

 **Whore:** leave me be mari made me watch spy kids

 **Foxy Lad:** god damn that movie was my childhood

 **Foxy Lad:** morning guys

 **Ni-no:** my soul has left my body

 **Ni-no:** I never remember to mute this chat overnight and so every morning I am woken up at ridiculous hours by you fuckers

 **Useless gay:** literally says u, mister ‘I have a plan at 4 am’

 **Ni-no:** that’s different we can go back to sleep at 4am

 **Ni-no:** at 7 u have to either dedicate urself to 10 more minutes before ur alarm, or just get up

 **Ni-no:** this is abuse, adrien

 **Whore:** nino stop being overdramatic

 **Foxy Lad:** SICK BURN

 **Foxy Lad:** but also that’s my boyfriend

 **Whore:** we are 1 week away from the most intense week of our lives!!!

 **Whore:** we should stay motivated

 **Whore:** and one way to do that is to keep a good sleep schedule! Wake up early!

 **Ladybug:** Adrien Agreste is a hypocrite

 **Whore:** My Lady!

 **Ladybug:** we finished spy kids at 1am

 **Ladybug:** and judging by your weird ass texts, you did not sleep, you watched spy kids 2 and 3

 **Whore:** what do you mean my weird ass texts? Im totally normal!!

 **Foxy Lad:** nah, something’s just,,, off

 **Bully gay:** Good morning all

 **Bully gay:** Adrien I believe you are mistaken.

 **Bully gay:** we are meeting in 10 minutes, not 15.

 **Whore:** wait rlly???

 **Whore:** SHIT OK IM COMING

 **Bully gay:** I am already at school

 **Ladybug:** damn that’s some motivation

 **Ladybug:** wanna pop into the bakery and have a croissant

 **Ladybug:** ft my incredible bedhead

 **Bully gay:** that is very kind, but no thank you

 **Bully gay:** I am hanging out with chloe

 **Useless gay:** wow way to call me out

 **Ni-no:** CHLOE UR AT SCHOOL

 **Bully gay:** and you are sitting next to me, I don’t understand why you need to talk to me via text also

 **Foxy Lad:** odcnr we should leave them be they were probably making out

 **Bully gay:** we were

 **Useless gay:** we were

 **Bully gay:** you were too slow

 **Whore:** I’M IN THE CAR

 **Whore:** be there soon

 **Useless gay:** adrien take ur fucking time

 **Useless gay:** bye y’all

 **Ni-no:** get it chloe see u in an hour

 **Foxy Lad:** odfne your friendship still lowkey weirds me out

**17:57**

**Ladybug:** FENCING PRACTICE IS OVER

 **Ladybug:** SO WHEN U GUYS SEE THESE MESSAGES

 **Ladybug:** come over to the bakery I have sweets and hugs

 **Whore:** you know I cannot resist my lady

 **Ni-no:** omfg adrien get back to practice u little cheat

 **Whore:** but practice is over!!!

 **Bully gay:** he’s right, we actually end at 17:55, to allow time to get changed

 **Bully gay:** also marinette, whilst your offer is very kind, I believe I would be a ‘third wheel’

 **Ladybug:** kagami I will literally kick adrien out if it means u will finally come over and hang out with me

 **Whore:**?????

 **Ladybug:** I love u,,,,, but bonding time

 **Bully gay:** nah adrien can come

 **Bully gay:** I’ll give him my 3ds, and he can just play animal crossing

 **Whore:** OMG YES OK IM IN

 **Foxy Lad:** a child at heart

 **Ni-no:** so the rest of us just like aren’t invited?

 **Ladybug:** do u wanna come over?

 **Ni-no:** no im to comfortable

 **Ni-no:** but maybe if you had asked me an hour ago,,,,,

 **Ladybug:** edofvjh come over tomorrow

 **Ladybug:** Adrien! Kagami! Where u atttt

 **Bully gay:** doing damage control with my mother, give me a second

 **Ladybug:** oh

 **Useless gay:** bitch

 **Whore:** hey chloe! Bad language

 **Useless gay:** bitch literally this morning u said ‘oh shit’ stfu

 **Useless gay:** this is hypocritical and homophobic

 **Bully gay:** I’m standing next to him do u want me to beat him up for u?

 **Useless gay:** yes pls

 **Whore:** WHAT NO SOMEBODY SAVE ME

 **Ni-no:** ,,,

 **Foxy Lad:** ,,,

 **Whore:** MY LADY

 **Ladybug:** can u try to avoid the lower half of his face I have to kiss that

 **Bully gay:** yeah, sure

 **Foxy Lad:** u know kagami I have known u 24 hours and I would beat ur mom up

 **Bully gay:** thank u im honoured

 **Ni-no:** babe u beat up all the homophobes

 **Foxy Lad:** hecc yea I do

 **Ladybug:** if u didn’t have a miraculous I’d encourage u to become a vigilante

 **Ladybug:** of course I never promote violence

 **Ladybug:** I am Paris’s saviour <3

 **Foxy Lad:** wow showoff much

 **Whore:** MARI LET US INNNNNN

 **Ladybug:** oh shit sorry I forgot about that

 **Ladybug:** coming down now

 **Foxy Lad:** seriously tho my identity is so protected in this can I go around punching homophobes

 **Ni-no:** gotta give the lgbtq+ community some kind of hero

 **Useless gay:** can I come with

 **Foxy Lad:** yea

 **Ladybug:** No!

 **Ladybug:** I mean im all up for punching homophobes but miraculous are meant for good!!!

 **Ladybug:** not like slightly morally gray stuff that I 100% approve of

 **Whore:** that is kind of interesting tho

 **Foxy Lad:** what

 **Whore:** the lgbtq+ community should have some kind of heroes

 **Whore:** nobody but us knows all of us are gay

 **Ladybug:** adrien ur croissant is getting cold

 **Bully gay:** I understand what adrien means, a little

 **Useless gay:** damn paris rlly has no good gay superhero role models

 **Useless gay:** guess we’ll just have to step in

 **Ni-no:** I would be willing

 **Foxy Lad:** me 2

 **Whore:** me 3

 **Ladybug:** GUYS

 **Ladybug:** I fucking love this idea

 **Ladybug:** but it’s kind of at the wrong time???

 **Ladybug:** we’re literally in the middle of something rn

 **Foxy Lad:** how does one come out to the entirety of Paris??

 **Ni-no:** do an interview???

 **Useless gay:** a lil interview with Nadja Chamack, and a public statement & video on the Ladyblog, probably

 **Whore:** and mari could make stickers!!!

 **Ladybug:** yes!!

 **Ladybug:** I MEAN NO

 **Ladybug:** guysssss omg ur being so difficult

 **Ladybug:** I thought I was team leader

 **Useless gay:** yeah until we all found out you’re a walking disaster

 **Useless gay:** I am obviously team leader

 **Bully gay:** no

 **Useless gay:**????? you’re literally in love with me ?????

 **Bully gay:** yes

 **Bully gay:** but still no

 **Foxy Lad:** CAN U IMAGINE THO

 **Foxy Lad:** ugh I rlly wanna do it now

 **Foxy Lad:** and we could all go to pride together

 **Useless gay:** I’ve never been

 **Whore:** nor me

 **Bully gay:** me 3

 **Ni-no:** actually, neither have i

 **Foxy Lad:** mari it’s just u and me holding down the fort

 **Ladybug:** Christ

 **Ladybug:** ok so let’s do it

 **Whore:** YES

 **Useless gay:** sweet

 **Foxy Lad:** AYYYYY

 **Ladybug:** but can it please wait???

 **Ladybug:** kagami do u want another macaron

 **Bully gay:** you are 3 feet away from me

 **Ladybug:** u didn’t answer the question

 **Foxy Lad:** ok as a minor role in the current plan I hereby accept all responsibility on the gay plan

 **Ladybug:** kdfjvfndk go to bed all of you

 **Ni-no:** it’s like 6:15

 **Ladybug:** I said what I fucking said nino

 **Ladybug:** you guys need some rest

 **Ladybug:** and some food

 **Ladybug:** and some damn organisational skills

 **Useless gay:** mari u aren’t the leader, ur the mom of the family <3

 **Ladybug:** aww thanks

 **Ladybug:** ur the baby

 **Whore:** Skdhfnk we NEVER FORGET

 **Foxy Lad:** holy shit I did forget tho chloe’s a foetus

 **Useless gay:** nvm I take it back fuck u all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gay


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh yes the sweet sound of an update

**11:01**

**Ladybug:** boom boom guess who’s at the airport

 **Useless gay:** us

 **Ladybug:** bro,,,

 **Ladybug:** I was going to say NOT adrien and kagami

 **Ladybug:** we’ve been here for like 20 minutes, y’all are going to miss ur flights

 **Whore:** we’re on the way!!!! Traffic is bad

 **Useless gay:** how tf did we get here fast then???

 **Bully gay:** you took a train

 **Useless gay:** and I hated every second of it

 **Useless gay:** but im still on time, soooo

 **Ni-no:** osdjfd im excited

 **Ni-no:** I know im highkey doing nothing

 **Ni-no:** but woot woot bitches

 **Useless gay:** nino

 **Useless gay:** sweetie

 **Useless gay:** go to bed

 **Ni-no:** read the username

**Useless gay has renamed ‘Ni-no’ ‘Ni-yes’**

**Useless gay:** you were saying

**Ni-yes has renamed themselves ‘Ni-no’**

**Useless gay has renamed ‘Ni-no’ ‘Ni-yes’**

**Ni-yes:** I dislike u

 **Useless gay:** no u don’t

 **Bully gay:** we have arrived

 **Ladybug:** where are uuuu

 **Ladybug:** oh wait nevermind

 **Whore:** HI MY LADY

 **Ni-yes:**????? isn’t she literally with u???

 **Foxy Lad:** this boi I s2g

 **Foxy Lad:** good luck kagami!!! We believe in u

 **Ni-yes:** YEAH KAGAMI U GOT THIS!!!!

 **Ladybug:** you’re the strongest person I know, I believe in you 100%

 **Bully gay:** I appreciate your sentiments.

 **Bully gay:** Adrien and I are about to board the plane, so we should put our phones away.

 **Bully gay:** thank you, all

**Private Messages – @Queen Bee, @Kagami Tsuguri**

**Queen Bee:** I love you, babe.

 **Queen Bee:** You got this.

 **Kagami Tsuguri:** I love you too.

**4:48**

**Ladybug:** has the plane landed yet

 **Foxy Lad:** mari it’s been 5 minutes

 **Ladybug:** and maybe they’ve just turned on their phones

 **Ladybug:** you never know

**Ni-yes has renamed themselves ‘Ni-no’**

**Ni-no:** sweet, sweet peace

 **Useless gay:** not on my watch

 **Ni-no:** CHLOE PLEASE

 **Ni-no:** I’LL WATCH VOLTRON WITH U

 **Useless gay:** ,,,,,,

 **Useless gay:** fine

 **Useless gay:** but we can only watch Voltron in the dead of night

 **Useless gay:** gotta do it justice

 **Ladybug:** BRO what about star vs the forces of evil

 **Foxy Lad:** am I the only one who hasn’t seen any of these???

 **Ni-no:** BABE

 **Ladybug:** ALYA OMG

 **Useless gay:** you poor, poor being

 **Useless gay:** my childhood was a shitshow but even I got to watch these few treasures

 **Useless gay:** you can have an honorary invite

 **Ladybug:** im,,, right here???

 **Foxy Lad:** must I remind u that u promised to work on stickers for the gay plan we’re doing after kagami wins???

 **Ladybug:** I can draw and watch

 **Ladybug:** im multi-talented

 **Useless gay:** how is that a multi talent?

 **Ladybug:** OH LOOK IT’S BEEN 5 MINUTES

 **Ladybug:** KAGAMI AND ADRIEN ARE U ON THE GROUND???

 **Whore:** yea lol

 **Whore:** we’ve been here for a while

 **Bully gay:** we are on our way to the hotel room

 **Bully gay:** your conversations are very amusing

 **Bully gay:** alya, you are not alone

 **Bully gay:** what is Voltron?

 **Useless gay:** OH MY LORD

 **Bully gay:** you’re an atheist

 **Useless gay:** WHEN YOU MOVE IN WITH MARI U BET WE’RE HAVING SLEEPOVERS

 **Ladybug:** does that mean I’m included???

 **Useless gay:** no get out

 **Ladybug:** it’s???? my house????

 **Foxy Lad:** to think, at one point, chloe was so in love with lb, and now treats her with this shade

 **Whore:** aww my lady I’ll spend time with you

 **Ladybug:** adrien I love u but ur so touch starved that whenever there’s a cuddle pile u physically cannot resist

 **Ladybug:** even for me

 **Ni-no:** the lady speaks the truth

 **Bully gay:** we have arrived at the hotel. How is the plan going?

 **Useless gay:** I went to kagami's house and demanded to see her to tomoe lol maybe I should be an actress

 **Foxy Lad:** I did nothing as instructed

 **Ni-no:** same

 **Ladybug:** kagami ur suitcase is safe in my room, I’m slowly setting up a bed for u but the ikea instructions are rlly hard!!!!!!

 **Ladybug:** and in between, im drawing gay superhero stickers lol

 **Ladybug:** which is actually kind of fun???

 **Bully gay:** thank you all, very much

 **Useless gay:** babe stop thanking us we love u we’d do it even if u were the most ungrateful bitch

 **Bully gay:** I don’t know how else to deal with it

 **Ni-no:** I do lol

 **Ni-no:** when u get back

 **Ni-no:** we’re having a cuddle pile at mari’s place

 **Ni-no:** whole squad invited

 **Foxy Lad:** AWW YEA BOI

 **Useless gay:** don’t say it akgami I’ll fly out and punch u

 **Whore:** akgami

 **Ladybug:** akgami

 **Ni-no:** akgami

 **Foxy Lad:** akgami

 **Useless gay:** STOP

 **Ladybug:** it’s been a while since we’ve had a good, flavourful typo

 **Bully gay:** what are we doing?

 **Whore:** when someone makes a typo we repeat it lol

 **Bully gay:** akgami

 **Useless gay:** y’all are so rude I made one mistake

 **Ladybug:** YOU UNINVITED ME TO THE CUDDLE PILE

 **Useless gay:** fine u can come

 **Useless gay:** what time is it over there???

 **Useless gay:** that’s right

 **Useless gay:** time to go to bed and get a good night’s sleep so u can be well-rested for tomorrow morning

 **Whore:** lmao k goodnight everyone

 **Bully gay:** yes, good night

 **Foxy Lad:** have sweet dreams!!!

 **Ni-no:** of the gold medal

 **Ladybug:** odfijjekdo it’s a trophy u uncultured swine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't forget to leave kudos and comments!!! thank you for reading!!!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> she back!!! u better know i tried to write this like 4 times and every time it came out wrong, until i gave up and wrote it in a spree at like 4am like I did with the entirety of the first book lmao
> 
> also isn't it great that this is shaping up to finish in pride month. only a few more chapters, lovelies!!
> 
> hope you enjoy!!!

**19:41**

**Whore:** hey just an update we made it through the first day

 **Ni-no:** YOU’VE BEEN GHOSTING US FOR 13 HOURS

 **Ni-no:** just an update my fucking ass

 **Ladybug:** congratulations!!!

 **Ni-no:** mari wtf u aren’t mad??

 **Ladybug:** oh im seething

 **Ladybug:** adrien u had ur phone the entire time, u couldn’t have texted us saying ‘she’s still in’ or something just once???

 **Ladybug:** but also **@Bully gay** congratulations!!!

 **Whore:** I’m sorry, I silenced my phone because I was in the front row as her ‘chaperone’

 **Bully gay:** thank you, marinette.

 **Bully gay:** Adrien did not answer his phone because he was busy cheering for me.

 **Bully gay:** I believe he has lost his voice.

 **Bully gay:** we are on our way to a local pharmacy to get him some cough drops and hot tea

 **Ni-no:** woefihrekod only you

 **Foxy Lad:** OMG CONGRATS!!!!!

 **Foxy Lad:** how are u feeling???

 **Bully gay:** quite confident, actually.

 **Bully gay:** If Adrien had also decided to compete, he would have made it past the first day with ease, and I am better than Adrien.

 **Ladybug:** woeidfjh I should probs defend him but u spout true facts

 **Bully gay:** how are all of you? How is the plan going?

 **Foxy Lad:** THE GAY PART is going incredibly, we have a script for the video for the Ladyblog, and mari’s making excellent progress on the stickers and we’re thinking about making pins and patches, too.

 **Foxy Lad:** maybe tote bags???

 **Ladybug:** the ACTUAL plan is going well, too.

 **Ladybug:** I’m pretty sure chloe’s doing her bit right now, being very obviously in paris in front of ur mom

 **Ladybug:** ur mom really likes her schedule, and chloe is having a lot of fun messing that up

 **Bully gay:** I am glad.

 **Bully gay:** I hope all of you are doing well.

 **Ladybug:** we are!!

 **Ladybug:** psodifhgfdjkd I can’t believe I know a famous fencer like that shit is so cool

 **Ni-no:** IKR

 **Foxy Lad:** you’re literally,,,, ladybug???

 **Bully gay:** I am not a famous champion yet

 **Whore:** ‘yet’ dofgiuhrjkd

 **Foxy Lad:** you know, adrien, you’;ve come far from your proper grammar days, I’m rlly proud of u

 **Whore:** aww thx

 **Foxy Lad:** WAIT NO DON’T SAY THX THAT’S GROSS

 **Whore:** thx

 **Ladybug:** thx

 **Ni-no:** thx

 **Bully gay:** thx

 **Bully gay:** I am beginning to understand your senses of humour. They are funny

 **Whore:** aww THX kagami <3

 **Bully gay:** you are welcome

 **Useless gay:** what is up children im back and better than ever

 **Bully gay:** still dramatic

 **Useless gay:** u love it

 **Ladybug:** stop flirting

 **Ladybug:** as the old gc would have once said,,,,

 **Ladybug:**!!!!!!PDA!!!!!!

 **Foxy Lad:** eodfiguhre I just got flashbacks

 **Ni-no:** that shit was so wild

 **Whore:** ,,,, it was 6 months ago?

 **Foxy Lad:** W I L D

 **Useless gay:** moving on

 **Useless gay:** get it u 2!!!

 **Useless gay:** by that I mean:

 **Useless gay:** kagami get gold, and get some good sleep

 **Useless gay:** and adrien get ur fucking voice back wofirh

**08:51**

**Whore:** kagami and I are in the car on the way to warm ups for the second day!!!

 **Ni-no:** oh so NOW you decide you can give us updates

 **Whore:** my voice is back mostly

 **Whore:** kagami is tired but only a little

 **Whore:** we had this really nice avocado toast and egg for breakfast that the room service did

 **Ni-no:** too much, nobody cares

 **Useless gay:** I bet my avocado toast is better

 **Bully gay:** it is

 **Useless gay:** yeah I put onion, tomato and lemon in that shit for some extra flavour

 **Ladybug:** kagami, you’re tired?

 **Bully gay:** I had sufficient sleep, my muscles are just slightly sore from yesterday.

 **Bully gay:** I have taken a painkiller, and will be fine

 **Ni-no:** yes u go girl

 **Bully gay:** I appreciate it but I have never spoken to you face to face before

 **Ni-no:** not YET

 **Foxy Lad:** omg sameeee

 **Foxy Lad:** anyways today we’re doing the planning for the gay thing

 **Foxy Lad:** which rlly needs a name

 **Ladybug:** lowkey I like just calling it ‘the gay plan’

 **Ni-no:** ditto

 **Whore:** I also like that

 **Foxy Lad:** ,,,,ok

 **Foxy Lad:** SO here’s what we got:

 **Foxy Lad:** mari’s boutique is making stickers of superheroes on top of pride flags of their choice, for laptops and stuff

 **Foxy Lad:** we’re thinking about making badges (which we would have to go to somebody else for) and patches, and possibly tote bags because if I had a dime for every time I saw someone carrying around that one gay tote bag I’d be richer than adrien, kagami and chloe combined

 **Foxy Lad:** a script is in progress for the heroes of paris to come out, which we can either follow loosely for structure and shit or I can use it word for word and make my illusions make the vids (mari I need the miraculous for that)

 **Foxy Lad:** we’ll put the video on the Ladyblog, along with a public statement against homophobia and transphobia and all that shit, and a link to mari’s blog

 **Foxy Lad:** and then we’ll all go to pride and rock that shit

 **Whore:** if I haven’t said it before, I will now

 **Whore:** this is going to be the coolest shit ever

 **Whore:** and I am so excited

 **Ladybug:** y’all remember when we thought he was 12???

 **Ladybug:** coz im having flashbacks

 **Foxy Lad:** omfg yes and he also typed like a saint

 **Ni-no:** he would be tall for a 12 year old,,, we never discussed that

 **Whore:** stop bullying me kagami’s the bully of this gc

 **Bully gay:** I would be offended, but it is true

 **Whore:** oop we just pulled up at the stadium place, gonna go warm up

 **Whore:** WISH US LICK

 **Ladybug:** good lick

 **Foxy Lad:** sending all the lick your way

 **Ni-no:** lick

 **Whore:** wdvjhfdj STOP I MEANT LUCK

 **Useless gay:** good luck kagami

 **Useless gay:** adrien wtf do u need lick for u kinky shit

 **Whore:** IM LEAVING

 **Ladybug:** WAIT CHEER SUPER LOUD FOR US!!!

 **Ni-no:** IN OUR SPIRIT!!!

 **Foxy Lad:** give her like a back massage or something from us, spiritually

 **Useless gay:** good luck kagami, u got this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading, and don't forget to drop a kudo or a comment!!! they honestly make me so happy, and for everyone that comments, i love u <33333


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is all coming to a close far sooner than I would have liked, considering how much i enjoy writing this, but here's another chapter!!
> 
> ps chloe and kagami are the best lesbians ever and i will fight for them

**17:51**

**Ladybug:** I swear to god I am going to explode

 **Useless gay:** mari!!! Stop

 **Useless gay:** she’s my girlfriend

 **Ladybug:** and he’s MY boyfriend

 **Ladybug:** and he should have updated us by now

 **Ladybug:** it’s been 20 minutes

 **Useless gay:** *22

 **Ladybug:** and not even a single word???

 **Ladybug:** did the fights go over???

 **Ladybug:** did we lose?

 **Useless gay:** *they

 **Ladybug:** WE, chloe

 **Ladybug: @Whore** come on or I’ll beat u when u get back

 **Whore:** IM HERE IM HERE

 **Whore:** jeez ur so pushy

 **Ladybug:** u love it

 **Useless gay:** WELLL????

 **Bully Gay:** we made it to the finals.

 **Whore:** WE MADE IT TO THE FINALS!!!!!!!!!

 **Bully gay:** ha, my text sent faster

 **Whore:** WHERE IS YOUR!!!!!!!!! ENTHUSIASM!!!!!!!!!

 **Foxy Lad:** hey does anyone remember when adrien used to type like a nun

 **Foxy Lad:** because I fixed that

 **Foxy Lad:** and I take full credit for whatever monstrosity I created

 **Ni-no:** congratulations!!!!!!!!!

 **Foxy Lad:** oh yeah, that 2

 **Foxy Lad:** we’ll watch you on TV tomorrow!!

 **Ladybug:** im so EXCITED

 **Whore:** I KNOW RIGHT

 **Useless gay:** gross u 2 are so similar

 **Ladybug:** im not even gonna comment,,,???

 **Ladybug:** CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!

 **Ladybug:**!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Whore: @Foxy Lad** is a keysmash appropriate here

 **Foxy Lad:** yeeee boi

 **Whore:** ofihfejdofijhd

 **Whore:** Kagami, I’m so proud of you

 **Whore:** and I’m so glad to call you my friend.

 **Useless gay:** when u get back spend the night at my place

 **Foxy Lad:** WOAH OK

 **Foxy Lad:** NEW RULE TIME

 **Foxy Lad:** NO PROPOSITIONING IN THE GROUP CHAT

 **Bully gay:** Oh, that wasn’t a proposition.

 **Bully gay:** Chloe is very touch starved from her childhood and we used to have sleepovers and ‘cuddle,’

 **Bully gay:** it was very nice.

 **Ni-no:** AWWWWW OH MY GOD CHLOEEEEE

 **Useless gay:** KAGAMI WY DID YOU TWLL THEMMM

 **Ni-no:** woah 2 typos in one message which one should we make fun off

 **Ladybug:** twll

 **Whore:** twll

 **Foxy Lad:** twll

 **Foxy Lad:** wy just doesn’t hit right

 **Ni-no:** but also we’re just gonna ignore that chloe is touch starved??

 **Bully gay:** it’s okay, so am I, so our relationship is mutually beneficial

 **Whore:** those are some BIG WORDS

 **Ladybug:** adrien ur probably the smartest person IQ wise on this group chat, u know what those words mean

 **Bully gay:** thank you all for your congratulatory words

 **Ladybug:** woedfiughfejk is that a word??????

 **Ni-no:** no

 **Foxy Lad:** congratularkjfnmxskjefncm

 **Bully gay:** it does not autocorrect, so it must be a word

 **Foxy Lad:** shit she right tho

 **Ni-no:** those are some BIG WORDS

 **Whore:** oh so NINO CAN SAY THAT but I CANT???

 **Foxy Lad:** adrien I love u my wonderful student but where did u learn this rando capitalisation thing??

 **Whore:** what it’s not good???

 **Ni-no:** I get away with it because I have the Big Dumb™

 **Bully gay:** I was going to ask how things are going with the plan over there

 **Bully gay:** but nino

 **Bully gay:** there, there

 **Ni-no:** odvjhfdnkocij you’re not even gonna deny it???

 **Foxy Lad:** I mean,,,

 **Ni-no:** BABE

 **Useless gay:** things are going rlly good

 **Useless gay:** kagami your mom doesn’t suspect shit

 **Useless gay:** which is great

 **Useless gay:** don’t thank us, we’re doing this because we love u

 **Ladybug:** YES KAGAMI WE LOVE U

 **Whore:** ME 2

 **Foxy Lad:** I’ve only known u for 2 days, but if anything happened to you, I would kill everyone in this gc and then myself

 **Ni-no:** wow that was kind of dramatic

 **Ladybug:** LSDJHVFBENKLDFIVH NINO

 **Ladybug:** NINO

 **Ladybug:** U UNDERSTAND VOLTRON, SHE-RA, AVATAR ETC REFERENCES

 **Ladybug:** BUT U DON’T GET BROOKYLN 99????????

 **Ladybug:**??????????

 **Ni-no:** oh I watched that haha

 **Ni-no:** I just didn’t know it was from there

 **Ladybug:** phew

 **Bully gay:** alya, that was a very funny reference

 **Bully gay:** and thank you

 **Bully gay:** I like you a lot as well, even though we haven’t known each other for very long

**Bully gay has renamed Foxy Lad ‘The favourite’**

**Bully gay:** also can we talk about how marinette said Adrien had the highest IQ in this group chat???

 **Bully gay:** because I will fight him

 **The favourite:** holy SHIT

 **The favourite:** ON A STICK

 **The favourite:** I GOT A NEW NICKNAME

 **The favourite:** AFTER ALMOST 2 FICS OF THIS SAME OLD SHIT

 **The favourite:** AND IT’S A GOOD ONE AS WELL

 **Ni-no:** congrats babe

 **Ni-no:** I would also be willing to fight for the position of highest IQ

 **Ladybug:** count me out im thicC

 **Ladybug:** in the head and the thighs

 **The favourite:** PREACH

 **Useless gay:** you guys are too much

 **Useless gay:** so peppy

 **Useless gay:** I’m gonna go eat something

 **Useless gay:** y’all better not forget to eat as well, it’s dinner time

 **Ladybug:** chloe,,,, the mom friend???

 **Ladybug:** but she’s Baby

 **Useless gay:** I AM NOT

 **Whore:** aww is poor widdle chloe hungry??

 **Ni-no:** does she need cuddles to go to bed??

 **Useless gay:** GOODBYE

**Private Messages - @Queen Bee, @Kagami Tsuguri**

**Queen Bee:** kagamiii why did u tell them

 **Kagami Tsuguri:** sorry

 **Kagami Tsuguri:** I assumed they knew

 **Kagami Tsuguri:** the group chat discusses very personal topics

 **Queen Bee:** it’s ok haha don’t worry

 **Queen Bee:** is it selfish that a part of me wanted you to come home today even if you lost??

 **Kagami Tsuguri:** I miss you too, Chloe.

 **Kagami Tsuguri:** one more day.

 **Queen Bee:** you’d better kick that bitch’s ass for me

 **Queen Bee:** I love you, kagami

 **Kagami Tsuguri:** I love you too

 **Queen Bee:** are you tired? You were tired this morning, right?

 **Queen Bee:** you should get some sleep

 **Queen Bee:** UNLESS YOU HAVENT EATEN

 **Queen Bee:** make adrien cook for u he’s dating a baker he has to know something

 **Queen Bee:** or order room service!!

 **Queen Bee:** but it’s bad to sleep on a full stomach…

 **Kagami Tsuguri:** Chloe, I’m fine.

 **Kagami Tsuguri:** I’ve eaten, and I’m not that tired – it’s only half past eight.

 **Kagami Tsuguri:** would you like to facetime?

 **Queen Bee:** YES!!!

**19:36**

**Queen Bee has started a Voice Chat**

**21:09**

**Voice Chat has been ended**

**Queen Bee:** sdfjd I forgot ur an hour ahead

 **Queen Bee:** GOOD LUCK TOMORROW!! U GOT THIS!!

 **Queen Bee:** put on a show for me!!! I’ll be watching LIVE

 **Kagami Tsuguri:** <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would literally DIE for all of these characters ugh
> 
> thank you so much for all the comments and kudos!!! they make my heart go 'jvhfndmsl!!!!!!!!!'


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so we're rapidly approaching the end and since i established 'the gay plan' i feel like i need to finish this by the end of pride month (happy pride btw!!!) so expect a couple of quick-succession chapters if im successful haha

**07:15**

**Whore:** well isn’t this a rare sight

 **Whore:** I am the first one on the groupchat

 **Whore:** I am greeted by total silence

 **Whore:** nobody is here to nag me

 **Useless gay:** adrien stfu it’s 6am here

 **Whore:** one of my friends has arisen

 **Useless gay:** adrien

 **Useless gay:** I will mute u

 **Whore:** in her early morning state, she appears to be hostile

 **Whore:** for her species this is an incredibly common occurrence

 **Useless gay:** oh my goddd

 **Useless gay:** im going back to bed

 **Whore:** once again, I am alone in the wild

 **Whore:** perhaps we will spot a wild **@Ladybug**

 **Ladybug:** adrien

 **Ladybug:** it’s a saturday

 **Whore:** she also seems disturbed by the wakeup call

 **Ladybug:** I s2g

 **Ladybug:** talk to u later

 **Whore:** I think I will use this opportunity of peace to right some wrongs

**Whore has renamed themselves ‘Handsome’**

**Handsome:** There we go.

 **Handsome: @Bully gay** where u at

 **Bully gay:** adrien im literally in the shower

 **Bully gay:** you can hear the shower going from the hotel room

 **Handsome:** WAIT WOAH HOW CAN U TEXT WHILST UR SHOWERING

 **Bully gay:** superpowers

 **Handsome:** WOAHHHHH

 **Useless gay:** lies, she takes a plastic bag in

 **Bully gay:** Chloe omg I thought u were supposed to be supporting me

 **Useless gay:** <3

 **Useless gay:** sorry but like im so cranky

 **Useless gay:** can ur warm up for today be beating adrien up plz?

 **The favourite:** good morninggg

 **The favourite:** I am awake bright and early because I was hit with one of those urges to re-invent myself yesterday

 **The favourite:** I have been on a jog and had a low-fat milk latte

 **The favourite:** I feel like death but I’ve already had caffeine so I can’t go back to sleep

 **The favourite: @Ni-no** WAKE UP BOIII

 **Ni-no:** no

 **Handsome:** truer words have never been spoken

 **Handsome:** also chloe!!! We literally grew up together!! Ur supposed to defend me

 **Bully gay:** I would be honoured to hit him

 **Handsome:** someone help me!!

 **Useless gay:** no

 **The favourite:** no

 **Ni-no:** no

 **Handsome:** my lady???

 **Ladybug:** no way in hell

 **Ladybug:** ovjhfnd im tireddd

 **Ladybug:** I literally have like 2 hours until I have to be awake

 **Ladybug:** why are YOU guys up this early

 **Bully gay:** the venue is further away than the one we usually fight in, and we need to be there an hour before filming begins.

 **Bully gay:** I, too, am annoyed about the early wakeup call

 **Handsome:** aww poor u

 **Handsome:** I feel great

 **Bully gay:** u were asleep at 7pm last night

 **The favourite:** wait what??? How???

 **Ladybug:** lmao he can fall asleep anywhere

 **Ladybug:** lowkey it’s insane

 **Bully gay:** I should go and get ready, Adrien’s in the shower

 **The favourite:** good luck!!! Stretch well!!!

 **Ladybug:** YES!!! WE’LL BE WATCHING

 **Ladybug:** BUT LIKE NOT IN A PRESSURISING WAY

 **Ladybug:** GOOD LUCK!!!

 **Ladybug:** ,,,break a leg??

 **Bully gay:** that would not be beneficial

 **Useless gay:** babe it’s a turn of phrase

 **Useless gay:** don’t be nervous

 **Bully gay:** I do not get nervous.

 **The favourite:** XOCJHFEKS POWER MOVE

**8:51**

**Ladybug:** OMG WE’RE ON THE CHANNEL AND THEY’RE DOING ADS BUT UR ABOUT TO BE ONN

 **Handsome:** I know right!!!!

 **Handsome:** im seated in the front row but kagami’s backstage coz they’re gonna do a huge walk in

 **Ladybug:** they’re fighting on a stage???

 **Handsome:** nah I just didn’t know what to call it

 **The favourite:** u 2 are missing out on so much mari made cookies

 **Ni-no:** why is it taking so long to start omggg

 **Useless gay:** kagami???

 **Bully gay:** yes, I am reading the messages

 **Bully gay:** I won’t go out for a while until they introduce the other guy

 **Useless gay:** WE’LL BE CHEERING FOR YOU

 **Ladybug:** YESSSS

 **The favourite:** the cookies have little fencing swords and masks on them ur missing outtt

 **Ladybug:** they took forever to make bro

 **Ladybug:** but I was stressed so …

 **Handsome:** IT’S TIME

 **Bully gay:** I must put away my phone.

 **Useless gay:** I LOVE U KAGAMI

 **The favourite:** woah pda

 **Ladybug:** IT’S ON

 **Ladybug:** OMG I SEE IT ON TV

 **Ni-no:** yea no shit

 **Handsome:** OMG CAN U SEE ME

 **Ladybug:** YES BABE FIRST ROW

 **Handsome:** POFHEWSLDFK

 **Handsome:** IM FAMOUS

 **Handsome:** IM ON TV

 **Ladybug:**???

 **The favourite:** but,,, ur a fucking supermodel

 **Ni-no:** oblivious as always

 **Ladybug:** STOP TEXTING US AND PUT UR PHONE AWAY UR ON LIVE TV

 **Handsome:** OH SORRY

 **The favourite:** OMG KAGAMI WE SEE U

 **Ni-no:** babe who r u texting we’re all in the same room

 **Useless gay:** put ur phones away it’s starting

**09:45**

**The favourite:** YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **Ladybug:** YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **Ni-no:** YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **Useless gay:** YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **Useless gay:** WE FUCKING WON

 **Useless gay:** U WON

 **The favourite:** OH MY GODDDD

 **The favourite:** IM SO PROUD

 **Ladybug:** KAGAMI AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **Ladybug:** GET UR PHONE OUT ODFVJHGFDK

 **Ni-no:** CONGRATULATIONSASSSSS!!!

 **Ladybug:** awwwwww omg is she crying???frdjfdugbhrj

 **Ladybug:** im crying

 **The favourite:** we know

 **Ladybug:** I’M CRYING

 **Ladybug:** I’M SO HAPPY

 **Ni-no:** WE’RE FRIENDS WITH A LEGIT INTERNATIONAL FENCING CHAMPION

 **Ni-no:** THIS IS INSANEEEE

 **The favourite:** CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Ladybug:**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Handsome:** WE WON

 **Ladybug:** WE WOOOOOOON

 **Useless gay:** eprofigh when’s ur flight back kagami I wanna kiss u

 **Useless gay:** babe im so proud of u

 **Bully gay:** HELLO

 **Ni-no:** AHHHHHHH

 **The favourite:** SHE USED CAPS LOCK

 **Bully gay:** I am not usually one for profanity

 **Bully gay:** but given this is a special situation

 **Bully gay:** holy shit

 **Bully gay:** I WON

 **Useless gay:** U WON

 **Handsome:** YAAAAAAAAYYYYYY

 **The favourite:** WHOOOOO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!!!! AND THEY WOOOOONNNN


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the penultimate chapter :( and the last chapter that's in text-form :(
> 
> but yeah!!! hello everyone, thank u for clicking on this fic!! here is a chapter that has not been proofread (as if i proofread ANY of my fics) and i hope you enjoy!!!

**14:39**

**Handsome:** yeah so like I know we won and everything

 **Handsome:** but now that we have

 **Handsome:** idk,,, I feel like we have nothing to do??

 **Ni-no:** bro I totally feel u

 **Ni-no:** lik we’ve been focussed on this for so long

 **Ni-no:** and we got it!!

 **Ni-no:** but now what

 **Bully gay:** We do still have that sleepover at Marinette’s house

 **Handsome:** yeah but like what do I do with myself :(

 **Handsome:** I feel USELESS

 **Ladybug:** honey ur not useless

 **Ladybug:** ur literally a superhero

 **Ladybug:** we patrol Paris daily???

 **Ladybug:** crime rates are down

 **Ladybug:** and we’re public figures!!

 **The favourite:** ALSO

 **The favourite:** we’re still doing THE GAY THING

 **The favourite:** although it rlly needs a new name

 **Ni-no:** nah, I like the gay plan

 **Ni-no:** sounds chaotic

 **The favourite:** so y’all are coming over and transforming and we’re recording a video right??

 **The favourite:** I can put it on the Ladyblog, we can send mari’s shit out, etc etc

 **Handsome:** Yes!!! We can come over and hang out and do something productive!!

 **Ladybug:** ,,,bitch??

 **Ladybug:** adrien do u really feel like ur doing nothing?

 **Ladybug:** coz I just gave u a huge list of stuff ur doing

 **Handsome:** idk

 **Handsome:** my schedule just used to be so full on so idk what to do with free time

 **The favourite:** u want something to do??

 **The favourite:** write a script for us boi

 **The favourite:** it’ll be so chaotic if I just turn on a camera with no plan

 **The favourite:** also nobody touch me whilst we’re filming, I’ll be an illusion so I can work the camera

 **Ladybug:** smarttt

 **Useless gay:** hey y’all this chat was blowing up so I figured I’d drop in

 **Useless gay:** adrien I heard down the grapevine that u feel like ur life doesn’t have purpose.

 **Useless gay:** im here to fix that xo

 **Useless gay:** come shopping with mee

 **Bully gay:** is this because I said no?

 **Useless gay:** yes 1000%

 **Handsome:** ok!!!

 **The favourite:** but….. the script….

 **Ladybug:** so we’re filming it tonight?

 **The favourite:** I mean ya??

 **The favourite:** we’re all gonna be in the same place, and ur rooftop is as inconspicuous as any

 **Ladybug:** oo big word

 **The favourite:** dffjjdpvofjd mari focus

 **Ladybug:** yes sir

 **Ni-no:** wtf is happening and why am I still lurking on this convo

 **Bully gay:** same

 **Ladybug:** I think we don’t rlly need a script??

 **Ladybug:** like if we just wing it

 **Ladybug:** it may take a couple of takes

 **Ladybug:** but it makes it seem much more genuine

 **Ladybug:** which is what we’re going for, right?

 **The favourite:** oo big word

 **Ladybug:** alyaaaaa

 **The favourite:** fine svpodjnsdc

 **The favourite:** I guess I’ll start packing all my damn filming equipment

 **The favourite:** for tonight

 **The favourite:** btw we’ll only get through like 1 season of Voltron max coz the first episode is huge

 **The favourite:** PLUS we’ll spend all fuckign night on this

 **Ladybug:** sounds good to me considering season 8 was a fucking nightmare so we never wnt to go there

 **Ladybug:** ok imma make cookies

 **Ni-no:** with white chocolate??

 **Ladybug:** and raspberry boi u know ittt

 **Bully gay:** sounds good

 **Bully gay:** see you all in a few hours

**16:21**

**Handsome:** NINO

 **Ni-no:** ADRIEN

 **Ni-no:** woerifgujhfd ur so lucky I was online can u imagine how that would have flopped if I had left u hanging

 **Handsome:** I know u’d never leave me bro

 **Ni-no:** BRO

 **Ni-no:** UR MY WORLD BRO

 **Handsome:** B R O

 **The favourite:** what the fuck have I done

 **The favourite:** in educating adrien, I have allowed this to happen

 **The favourite:** im turning off my phone, bury this convo deep

 **Ni-no:** yes ma’am

 **Ni-no:** ADRIEN MY MAN WHAT DO U NEED

 **Handsome:** many things

 **Handsome:** first off, I need everyone to come online

 **Useless gay:** no

 **Bully gay:** no

 **Ladybug:** u 2 were having ur moment, ignore us

 **Ladybug:** we’re not even here

 **Handsome:** no wait!!!

 **Handsome:** I just wanted to say

 **Handsome:** im rlly glad u guys are in my life

 **Handsome:** because im living the fanfic dream

 **Handsome:** KIDDING

 **Handsome:** (kind of)

 **Handsome:** but yeah I love u guys a lot and I just wanted to say thank u for being my friends

 **Handsome:** and yeah

 **Handsome:** y’all are awesome

 **Useless gay:** y’all

 **Ladybug:** y’all

 **Ni-no:** y’all

 **The favourite:** y’all

 **Handsome:** THAT’S WHAT U CHOOSE TO ADDRESS/?????

 **Useless gay:** he’s right tho

 **Useless gay:** we are awesome

 **Useless gay:** we arrested a fucking terrorist supervillain

 **Useless gay:** and we’re about to be the LGBTQ+ heroes of the world

 **Useless gay:** for which im rlly excited about btw

 **The favourite:** adrien we love u 2

 **The favourite:** but u can’t just say that shit

 **The favourite:** my heart will explode

 **Handsome:** omg please don’t explode ur heart

 **Handsome:** I’ll dm it to u next time

 **Ladybug:** pdofivjghfejkl omgggg the purity is somehow returninggg

 **Ladybug:** how is that even possibleee

 **Ni-no:** I know we aren’t meeting till 6 but mari im coming over now

 **The favourite:** same

 **Handsome:** oh then me 3!!

 **Bully gay:** I would also like to come

 **Ladybug:** ODIJHFDKSODIFJ WHAT

 **Ladybug:** BUT I HAVEN’T FINISHED MAKING THE SNACKS

 **Handsome:** we can help, my lady <3

 **Useless gay:** omw love

 **Useless gay:** im so excited for the gay plan

 **The favourite:** I KNOW RIGHT

 **The favourite:** we’re gonna be awesome

 **The favourite:** I CAN ILLUSION PRIDE FLAG CAPES ONTO U GUYS

 **Bully gay:** or we could bring our real pride flags??

 **Handsome:** U HAVE A PRIDE FLAG??

 **Bully gay:** yeah u literally saw chloe yeet it at me in the airport like 5 days ago

 **The favourite:** wofijhjkdo u know what yeet means??

 **Bully gay:** of course

 **Useless gay:** hecc yea I gave her a pride flag who do u think I am

 **Useless gay:** a broke bitch??

 **Useless gay:** no

 **Useless gay:** im a fucking lesbiam

 **Useless gay:** also mari im outside ur house

 **Ladybug:** COMING WPDFOVJGHFEJKOD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for reading!!! drop a comment, or a kudos, maybe?? they literally make my day <3


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD MY BABY BUT LIKE 2.0 IS FINISHED!!!
> 
> this is a weird ass chapter media-wise, but at the same time, why didn't anyone tell me writing media was so damn fun??
> 
> i hope you enjoy the chapter!!! and, for the final time, thank you so much for reading!!!

“Hello! I’m Nadja Chamack, and welcome to a very special episode of Face to Face!” Nadja looks straight into the camera, a smile on her face. “Today I’m joined by the superhero crew – Ladybug, Chat Noir, Carapace, Rena Rouge and Queen Bee!”

The camera switches to a shot of all five superheroes, crushed onto two couches and all waving politely at the camera. “Now,” Nadja continues, “as you all know, it’s Pride month, and in Paris – and _especially_ here at TV-5, we love our LGBTQ+ community – right, heroes?”

“Definitely,” Chat Noir says. “They’re the best.”

Nadja laughs politely. “Well, today we’ll be discussing different topics surrounding the LGBTQ+ community – and we even have a very special announcement from Paris’ own superheroes!”

She gets out a set of cards. “Alright, first question. What are your views on the media representation of LGBTQ+ characters?”

Several questions, many awkward puns, and forty minutes (not including ad breaks) of live television later, Nadja puts down her cards. “Right,” she says. “Now I understand you have an announcement for us?”

“Yes,” Alya – _Rena Rouge –_ says, clasping her hands together in her lap. “We’ve been thinking, for a while, about representation, and how important it is, especially now. So we’ve all been working together – with the Ladyblog, and with a special civilian designer named Marinette Dupain-Cheng – and we’ve released a collection of official, pride-based merchandise, as well as a public statement. A video to the Ladyblog is going live in about a half hour, I believe, which explains the whole project.”

Nadja nods. “You’re absolutely right. So, what urged you to take on this project?”

“Well, to be honest, the idea sort of came out of nowhere,” Alya said, causing a few light smiles from her teammates. “But a close friend of ours was heavily discriminated against for being part of the community – and, as members of the LGBTQ+ community ourselves, it’s horrible to see someone go through that – especially someone you love. So, now that we’re not fighting terrorists… we figured we could fight homophobes, instead.”

“Very well put,” Chat Noir says, giving Rena a fist-bump. Carapace subtly takes her hand.

“I see. Well, that’s all we have time for, folks – you’ll have to log into the Ladyblog to find out more! I’m Nadja Chamack, thank you for watching, and goodnight.”

* * *

“Hello, citizens of Paris.”

The five superheroes stand on a rooftop in the light of almost-sunset. They’re all holding large pride flags.

“My name is Ladybug,” she says, “as most of you know, and for the past five or so years, I have been helping defend your city, along with my fellow heroes. Today, we are fighting another evil – ignorance, and hate.”

“We see this ignorance in the form of discrimination, for what somebody cannot control.” Chat took over from Ladybug’s side. “You cannot help who you love, or how you feel. You’re born how you are – and it’s futile to try and change yourself. You don’t ever need to change yourself. No matter how, or who, you love, you are perfect.”

“And yet,” Rena steps forwards, “we see people discriminating against others, and hating them, for what?” Her hands tighten into fists around the fabric of her flag. “Hate is a horrible emotion, and has no place here, where there is so much _good.”_

“We ask you to accept us,” Queen Bee stepped in. “Because in coming out, we understand that there may be backlash. But Paris, and France – and the world, if they see this – deserve some real LGBTQ+ representation. And we deserve to be accepted.”

“So,” says Carapace, “we’re coming out. People around you being LGBTQ+ is so common, even if they haven’t come out to you yet. But in doing this, it doesn’t detract from what we’ve done for Paris – it doesn’t change who we are, as people.”

He looks to Ladybug, who shakes out the flag and ties it around her neck, to make a cape. “My name is Ladybug,” she says again, “and I am bisexual.”

“My name is Chat Noir,” he says, tying the asexual flag in a similar fashion,” and I am demi-sexual.”

“My name is Rena Rouge, and I am pansexual.”

“My name is Carapace, and I am queer.”

“My name is Queen Bee,” she says, holding her lesbian flag proudly,” and I am a lesbian.”

Ladybug looks to her fellow superheroes, and smiles – the first smile of the entire video. “That’s us,” she says, softly. “We commissioned a designer to make stickers, and all other sorts of merchandise, for which 85% of the proceeds will go towards LGBTQ+ charities.”

“And we want you to know, citizens of Paris, that we love you,” says Chat.

From besides him, Queen Bee lets out a loud, “aww! That wasn’t in the script!”

Chat fixes her with a look, before re-focussing on the camera. “We know it’s a lot to ask, to re-learn years of ingrained homophobic thoughts, or to try and educate yourself – but every day is a journey, and we’re here to make it easier, for those on all different levels of it.”

“We love you!” Carapace says, walking towards the camera and blowing it a kiss.

“I love women!” Yells Queen Bee into the open air, causing Rena Rouge to crack up.

“Alright,” Ladybug sighs, walking towards the camera with an exasperated, but happy, grin. “Cut the camera. That’s a serious enough take.”

The video ends, and the screen turns to black.

* * *

**www.mdcboutique.com**

NEW OFFERS – BROWSE – SALE – _PARIS HEROES COLLECTION_

Hello, all!

I was honoured to be chosen as the artist to help Paris’s superheroes spread their message, through badges, stickers, tote bags and more! This is the first launch of products, and I hope to make many more! As promised, 85% of all proceeds go towards LGBTQ+ charities – which you can vote for on the _Ladyblog_. Thank you so much for the support!

-MDC

LADYBUG – CHAT NOIR – RENA ROUGE – _CARAPACE_ – QUEEN BEE

CARAPACE GAY FLAG BADGE **(SOLD OUT)** \- CARAPACE ACE FLAG BADGE - CARAPACE LESBIAN FLAG BADGE - CARAPACE BISEXUAL FLAG BADGE **(SOLD OUT)** \- CARAPACE GENDERQUEER FLAG BADGE …(see more)

* * *

**www.ladyblog.com**

FORUMS – ARTICLES – _ANNOUNCEMENTS –_ MEDIA

[VID: Paris Heroes Campaign]

Love is love, y’all. The Ladyblog is honoured to help spread this message, and #happypride !!

COMMENTS:

 **Ladynoir17:** #happypride !!! omg this might just be the best day of my life

 **Badhairday:** this is the absolute cutest video im going to die

 **QueenBeestan:** LOVE IS LOVE Y’ALL HEARD IT HERE

 **Jenna214:** ok but can we please talk about how rena said ‘now that we’re not fighting terrorists, we figured we could fight homophobes, instead’ on LIVE TELEVISION without a fucking stutter?? The power

 **Missmarvelous:** hello!! I know there’s probably no chance of the actual superheroes seeing this, but I want to say how much this video means to me!!! My parents aren’t the most accepting, but this has made me feel so confident and loved, and it’s even given them a motive to start learning and trying to understand me! I appreciate all the links to helpful websites about LGBTQ+ history, and I lov you guys so much!!!

See more comments (17.9k)

* * *

“Aww, look at this one!” Marinette said, handing her phone over to Adrien. They were, once again, gathered in her parents bakery, reading through responses, mostly on the Ladyblog (although Chloe was stalking the twitter scene, as the only one who knew how to properly navigate the app.) “Isn’t it so sweet.”

Adrien begun reading silently, a smile growing on his face. “I’m so happy,” he said honestly. “Alya, this was the best idea of your entire life.”

“Well, excuse me – it’s not like I created the most popular superhero blog ever, or anything. I’ve had incredible ideas all my life.”

“Of course you have, babe,” Nino leans over to kiss her cheek. “You’re practically a genius.”

Kagami returns to the table with a huge platter of freshly baked goods. “I asked for a few croissants,” she said to Marinette, “but your parents…”

Marinette just laughed softly, gesturing for her to sit down. “They do that a lot,” she explained. “The bigger the group, the more their hospitality urges go up. And since there are six of us…”

They all look to the ginormous plate. Seriously, it could probably qualify as a geographical mountain.

“At least we know your parents pastries are structurally sound,” Adrien says, handing Marinette her phone back and reaching for a chocolate-covered croissant from the top of the pile.

“We should play jenga with it,” commented Marinette.

“And right there,” Chloe chuckled as she got herself a macaron, “is the perfect definition of ‘there are two types of people.”

“Structurally sound?” Alya asked Adrien. “What does that even _mean?”_

Marinette looked around the table, noticing as Chloe bantered with Nino, that Kagami, on her other side, was sort of twiddling her thumbs. “Take a pastry,” she said softly. “They don’t bite.”

Kagami shrugged. “They do burn, though.”

They both look at the bandage on Kagami’s wrist – a minor burn she’d gotten a couple of days ago, when she’d insisted on getting up at 4 with Marinette’s parents to properly ‘work for her keep’ (even though they’d already assured her it was fine for her to stay) but had been too sleep deprived to focus, and had ended up knocking into a boiling tray of cookies.

“I already told you,” Marinette said. “We love having you. I get a super awesome roommate, _and_ someone to keep me company on my shifts. We shouldn’t be working more that 20 hours a week – as teenagers, it’s our job to have fun!”

Kagami sighed. “Alright,” she begun. “What would you suggest I eat?”

Marinette examined the mountain. “You have a pretty big sweet tooth, so… how about something lemon-y?”

Kagami just shrugged. Marinette reached to the pile, dislodging a lemon meringue cookie and handing it over. “Small and sweet,” she said as an explanation. “And _super_ pretty.”

Kagami bit in, making a face. “It’s… not sour.”

“No,” chuckled Marinette. “You like it?”

As a response, Kagami shoved the rest of the cookie into her mouth, before attempting a smile.

Marinette burst out laughing, and Adrien turned to see what was wrong, hand outstretched in the middle of fishing a slice of pie out of the mountain – and sent the entire thing crashing to the ground, and all over the five superheroes (well, currently civilians.) This sent Marinette into even more laughter (particularly at the look of shock on Adrien’s face as he gripped the one slice of pie tightly.)

“Guys,” Alya said, picking up the macaron that had landed on her lap and putting it on the table. “I – well, the Ladyblog – just got an email.”

“Yeah?” Marinette cleared her throat. “What does it say?”

* * *

From: **parispride@gmail.com**

To: **the-ladyblog@gmail.com**

Subject: Pride 2020

Hello, Ladyblog owner!

We have seen your involvement with the recent Paris Heroes Campaign (which we loved, by the way) and were hoping whether you could get in touch with the superheroes themselves and relay the following message:

Hello, heroes of Paris!

We absolutely loved the Paris Heroes Campaign, and were hoping that you all might be able to attend Pride this year as your Superhero selves! If so, we would be honoured if you applied for a float (which we can sort out and decorate for you) and also made a speech this year!

Kind regards,

Paris’ Pride Organisers

* * *

“Holy _shit,”_ Adrien said. “Really?”

“Really,” said Alya, equally as amazed. “Well? Are we going to do it?”

“Well – we have to, right?” Nino said. “I mean, how awesome would it be? Being on a float? Making a _speech?”_

“So we’re in?” Asked Chloe, to Marinette. Everybody else seemed to be looking at her, too.

Marinette studied each of them, and didn’t find a smidge of doubt – only excitement, and happiness, and anticipation. “Alright,” she said. “Email them back. We’re in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END.
> 
> ok so i know it's the end of june and this, timeline wise, should have happened months ago, but the timeline went out the window the moment i made them say 'happy new year' in february (and i'm totally ignoring corona SO)
> 
> Thank you all so much for the love and support on this fic!! it's truly been so amazing to read all of your comments, and see all the subscriptions, and the bookmarks, and the kudos, and i want you all to know i love you <3


End file.
